Attempt

in #life7 years ago

https://tse3.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.DU6r1thEKA22DCNB1r0diQEsDQ&w=294&h=203&c=7&qlt=90&o=4&pid=1.7

May 4th 2017

School was over and I went home. I was lying in bed on my phone. I was texting all my friends and I was feeling empty. I felt unwanted and felt like no one cared. Feeling empty is a scary feeling for me, I made it out to be a bad thing.
I took 2000mg of my medication and then took a nap. I woke up a couple hours later and realized it was time for me to take my brother to practice. Baseball practice was like 15 minutes away. I told him to get ready and let's go. We got in the car and I put in the address in my phone.

I started driving and as I was driving I was losing my vison. I had to ask my brother to tell me where to go. We got to his practice and I dropped him off. I had to park because I was losing my vision almost completely. I called my friend and told her that I loved her as I was crying. I was shaking and I called my dad and told him what happened. I called the police and told them I needed an ambulance. I kept dropping my phone and couldn't type. I opened my car door and asked for help. This girl that was across the street came and helped me. She was from my school and she told the police my name and where I was. This other guy came and helped out also. I was crying so hard, shaking, twitching, and continued to lose vision.

Around 15 minutes later the ambulance came and asked me what happened. I told them and they said they had to wait for my dad to come before they can take me. My dad was at work around 30 minutes away. When he came I got in the ambulance and lost vision from there. When we got to the hospital they took me off the ambulance bed to the hospital bed. I was still crying and shaking. After a few hours I woke up and I was ok but, still my head would twitch.

I saw my father next to me and he looked very disappointed. I felt so bad and I was wishing my step-mom was there. the nurse checked on me a few times. I couldn't walk and they would have to take me to the bathroom. At night around 12 a.m my dad took me home. I still couldn't walk so they put me in a wheel chair. I went to sleep till the next morning.

The next morning, my parents were upset and told me I did this for attention and they just didn't quite understand. I didn't do it for attention, I was just feeling empty and didn't want to live anymore.

My parents got me help again and helped me figure out things. I love my supportive family very much. To this day I feel bad for getting in that car and driving and putting others in danger. I didn't think before I did and I'm taking full accountability for what I've done.

I'm still alive and battling this depression. It get's hard a lot of the times but I never want to experience overdosing again. That was the scariest moment of my life.

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