Our hidden message: Body Language

If the eyes are the windows of the soul, then the body is the mirror of what we are feeling and thinking. If we are feeling great it shows in how we hold and use our body. Conversely, if we look at someone else’s body we can often tell how they are feeling by the signals their body is giving. Ever notice how someone says one thing but his demeanour displays something entirely different? That's body language giving them away. There are countless other ways we can tell a whole lot about how a person is feeling towards us by the subtle unconscious signs they give off.

If you're still thinking reading Body language is all too important here's a brief statistic report about interpersonal comunication. Statistics about the messages we receive from someone we meet.

 *7% of the information we receive is from what they actually say.
 *38% of information we receive is from the tone, inflection and speed of their voice. 
 * A staggering 55% of the information we receive is from their body language. 

It is useful to be able to read people’s body language, but it is equally useful to learn how to get your body to send the right signals and eliminate the wrong signals. Be warned though body language is very much open to interpretation. Many signals have different meanings depending on the person/situation. Keep this mind when you assess a body language signal. Below are a few body language signals and their meanings. We may not be a able to cover all but we'll take a look at some important ones which we'll break into the negative a positive.

NEGATIVE BODY LANGUAGE

1. AVOIDING EYE CONTACT - When talking to someone, if your eyes are constantly facing down or darting around the room then that would be read as you lacking in self-confidence or not sure of what you're saying. It can even be misintepreted as you being you being bored in some cases

2. FOLDING ARMS - Arm folding is usually seen as a defensive body language in most cases and in other cases a show of defiance.

3. PLAYING WITH OBJECTS - There’s no quicker way to subconsciously tell someone “I am not paying attention to you” than to sit there fiddling with your smartphone through your entire conversation. But this habit of messing with things predates cell phones by centuries. It could be a pen, a piece of paper, or a some random object close by.

4. FORCED SMILE - A forced smile refers to a smile that is obviously, well, forced. The person faking a grin is usually pretty easy to spot. And it can come of as pretty insincere and overly gratifying. A forced smile only shows around the mouth area, a real smile shows on the eyes as well.

5. TOO MUCH NODDING – This indicates the listener may have has lost interest and may be bored.
   

POSITIVE BODY LANGUAGE

1. OPEN ARMS - This means the person is energetically open and possibly feeling vulnerable. A good way to show you are approachable, especially when combined with open palms .

2. MIRRORING - This is evidence of two people getting on really well. Each person copies the other’s body language, usually subtly. Mirroring occurs with Breathing, gestures, eye movement, leaning towards each other at the same time, crossed or uncrossed legs, speech pattern. Emotive energy such as being excited, relaxed, etc.

3. BODY SPACE - Respect for the other person’s body space is crucial in gaining their trust. Stay at least one arm’s length away from them.

4. EYE CONTACT - Maintaining good eye contact is one of most important steps to achieving a positive body language. Eye contact tells a person you are interested in what they are saying. It also means that you are confident in what you are saying to them.

5. SMILING - When you smile it shows a positive body language. A smile will encourage a person to talk to you and shows that you are a happy and confident person.

These are only a small list of subtle body language cues that we give off daily, as there are a lot more but for now this should suffice. After all said and done I think it would be fair to say that "Body language speaks louder than words".

Stay tuned for more from @mareeyen