Suicide Is a Permanent Solution to a Temporary Problem! Just in your few words you went from thinking the worst to getting a job that sounds fulfilling and it's helping others. Tough times are just a part of life but those that love you, like your stepmopther, would be crushed if you took your life. Not sure what part of the world you're from but please look up and and call a suicide hotline. Things will get better! I will pray for you.
I have a lot of problems that are not temporary, and I am suicidal but I wont actually commit suicide. It's hard to describe and understand unless you have the same feelings. But thank you very much <3