I love this post HA HA... I know exactly what you are talking about Dee, and the feelings your going through. I also pondered a lot about, what the heck am I here for, and what is my purpose ? I started thinking about that a lot after my last child left home, and I, as you, had a lot more time on my hands to just relax more, less things to do. Anyways I as well felt different, and I thought it was just the “empty nest syndrome.” I felt also, not lonely at all, Rick was there, but that I was really almost lost. So, about four years ago, I found Jesus, and I knew very little about Him. Religion turned me off, because of the people who claimed to be Christians, acted more like the devil. To make a long story short, I decided that I wanted to understand what the gospel was all about, I just felt in my heart that God was calling me, trying to get my attention ( and he surely was by the way), and I decided to start reading the “ King James” version of the Bible, starting with the New Testament, and the first gospel story, Mathew. I had know idea that there where four similar stories written by different people, that where four of the apostles. Well that did it, those feelings have all gone away completely, I don’t feel lost at all anymore. I found Jesus, and I have found out that I don’t really belong here, Just like I felt, I belong in Heaven with God, that’s my true home, final destination. This world, and my existence here is temporary, it’s just the beginning of a learning process on how to love yourself and others through forgiveness, patience, kindness, giving , loving and knowing God, and having a relationship with Him, getting to know Him, and speaking to Him, on a regular basis. Through reading the Bible, it tells you all this is a natural occurrence for everyone to feel these things. God is calling us, in fact He’s calling you to come join Him. It’s up to you to do so, we all have free will. I decided not to be so stubborn, and put everybody, and judging behind me, and devote my attention to Him. Good thing I listened to my heart, because he speaks to you from there, at first, then after awhile he will talk directly into your mind. May God bless you Dee, we love you dearly ❣️