"All characters and events in this article - even those based on real people - are entirely fictional. The following article contains coarse language and due to it's nature it shouldn't be viewed by anyone" ;)

So much drama, will it never end?

It sort of feels like High School but with computers on Steemit. Anyway, as you may have gathered from the title this post is intended to be inflammatory, but it's written from a place of no prejudice, only that, perhaps once read you take a moment to reflect and remember that no-one is innocent. Time to put a spotlight elsewhere.

I'm not religious but a great passage from the bible was this:

"Let him who is without sin cast the first stone"

Someone once told me that perhaps I'm too mainstream, perhaps this is my attempt of shedding that light.

How to be a complete douchebag on Steemit

So you've just found this new tech-fangled thing called Steemit, a lovely platform that rewards its writers with monetary gain for sharing their work and creating new and thought-provoking content, sometimes not, but what the hell. Each to their own, right?

The beauty of Steemit is crafted in such a way that there is no barrie. People with loads o' Steem can vote on the artists they like, each post is subjective, and with there being quite a variety of subjectivity between whales then at least the really good writers have a chance of accruing some much needed dollar. 

Oh, and you, of course. Every one of your posts are absolutely magnificent and it would be an outrage were you to earn pennies from your beautifully hand crafted Venus de Milo-like priceless works of art. How dare they.

1. When whales stop voting you, decry the system as unfair, and moan for months, even from no initial investment and when you have the highest earnings and reputation

Yeah, man, those pesky damn whales. It doesn't matter if your account currently holds a five figure sum, bitch and whine and moan for months after wards. Make sure that your reputation is super high, so when people new to the system come looking for an authority to see how it's done, they'll have you to tell them how completely unfair it is. Decentralisation is only fair when it works in your favour. If anyone calls you out on this, either completely ignore them or just casually brush them off with, "Yeah, I was overpaid back then anyway"

2. Cash in from your whining whilst offering absolutely no productive, or achievable solutions - legwork? That's for the skivvies!

Fuck that man. Who cares if you have the bank flow to actually make something happen, it's better to post inflammatory articles that make people angry and achieve nothing whilst you make the mullah from the posts. People are there for YOUR benefit. Nothing else. Get those bitches to vote you up, make them angry. Yeah.

3. Post better written psychology articles for the more well read of us, that anyone working in the trade would understand anyway - but pass yourself off as a forward thinking sear

Yeah, man. Not many mental health professionals are into technology anyway. You'll be fine. Write all your articles out as if you were the first one to think of them. Make people think you are amazing. Even add your own artwork to add that touch of authenticity, and if anyone calls you out on that, just downvote the shit out of them, because, you know, you never downvote anyone as it's against your principles. Unless they provide proof and embarrass you. That's different.

4. Add absolutely no soul to your writing, and be a twat in the comments section

Who cares if the comments section doesn't match up with your writing, just be a fuckhead constantly and people will be too angry at your elitist attitude to reflect on whether your writing is actually outsourced, plagiarised, or it's actually you that did it. Reflection is for pussies anyway. In case someone tries to make you reflect, offer no introspection and just attack. Make it all about them. Hell, be so super sneaky to offer no personality in your writing, that way no-one can question or compare stories.

5. Watch others earn. Get super mad. Forget about anything else

Because fuck them. You are worth more than that. It takes you 6 hours to write an article for here, double that when you do two. And you're super popular on your other platforms because you're just awesome. And fuck sleep. You're super human. Spend most of the day getting twisty mad at all the other people earning on Steemit, watch their articles, tags, categories, and comment on everything that is slamming them, feed the hate. Fuck having a life man.

6. Reflect no application from what you have written on your article in the comments section

Because when it comes to Blooms Taxonomy the furthest you managed was 'understanding' to hell with application, never mind creation. Just regurgitate another soulless psychology piece and pass yourself off as a dominant sear again if anyone questions otherwise. Maybe attack them in the comments section to ward off  suspicion. Make light of their faults, you have none. You are perfect in every way.

7. Forget what decentralisation actually means

You're all for decentralisation, but only if it works in your favour. Have all these awesome ideas but every one of them has to involve you, otherwise it's invalid or unfair. If you've become a whale by now apply no thinking to your own wallet - only those with MORE than you. Application of anarchistic theories only apply when they don't involve your own wallet - Jesus. You're not that daft, right?

And that's it for now - hope you enjoyed my bit of satire. I thought I'd try it since @supergoodliving is always at it :)

Peace, friends.

@lifeisawesome