Why I am 28 years old and have no driver's license.

in #life8 years ago (edited)

I would like to say it's because I am passionate about environmentalism.

Perhaps if I were morally opposed to driving it would be looked upon as noble. Sacrificing my comforts for the greater good. While I care about the environment --or at least convince myself I do-- I am not outraged by the act of driving. Maybe a little grossed out by ginormous, unnecessary tank-like vehicles on the road but definitely not against humans needing cars.

Or even to be able to say I have a physical handicap that makes it literally impossible to drive. But that would be a lie. The truth is I have a mental handicap that makes it hard to drive but I know it can be overcome.

Driving causes me to have severe panic attacks. I am from CA but lived in FL most of my teenage/adult life. I now know drivers in FL are just about the worst according to studies. Perhaps, this made my anxiety while trying to learn worse. I recently got my learner's permit. IE - took the super easy written test but didn't find a car to use to take the driving portion.

I think it started with never having money to get a car to learn but as time went by and my anxiety/agoraphobia got worse it became a real fear of driving. I never expected it to get so bad that I would be pushing 30 and wishing I drove a car. I just kept telling myself next year was the year I would get it. Now I am 28 and, feeling like a pleb, watching 16 year olds whizzing around town.

What happens exactly is that when I get onto the main road I am filled with panic and start violently shaking. I feel like I am about to go down the drop on a roller coaster, but the heart-in-gut feeling doesn't slow down, only intensifies.

which I feel can't be very safe on the road.

If you are in your 20's and have no car --and don't live in a huge city with great public transport-- you are pretty much regarded as the lowest form of loser.

Just to be clear my phobia isn't actually about the danger of driving. It's an extension of my social anxiety and the fact that I feel so insecure when I go anywhere in public to the point of getting panic attacks. It's an extension of being agoraphobic. I am going to be starting therapy soon and hopefully that, coupled with anti-anxiety meds, can get me to overcome this damned phobia so I can start living my life like an able-bodied adult.

For the longest time I let people just be baffled and gripe on about how lazy and/or bat-shit crazy I am for simply not bothering with driving. I am starting to think it may be better to just be honest. Though, I am pretty much validating their perception of me being bat-shit crazy. XD

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I've been driving since I was 18, but I remember that when I was just starting out, I was very nervous as well, not to the point of a panic attack, but rapid breathing, raised heart rate,... CHECK!.

Part of it was not feeling confident of being able to control the car in all circumstances. While I got over it on the public road, I think it might help you to drive a car in some kind of space where you will not encounter other cars or pedestrians etc. In that way, you will feel confident in handling the car (Ofcourse the agoraphobia think is something quite different)

Yeah I am really happy with how many empty roads there are here in MN. I am going to start saving for a car because my roommie/only friend here has a huge ass truck. I think once I have a car I will have the motivation to learn to drive it. :) (It snows a lot here so that'll make it even scarier haha)

Car loan payments, gas, insurance, expensive constant maintenance, hidden health costs, stress, it ads up really quick if you think about it. You can add up to it the environmental cost that doesn't affect you directly on the pocket but can get us kill on the long term.

Cars are a money drain. You only loose. Nothing to gain, not even time with increasing traffic jams we see these days.

I rather ride a bike, walk, take transit and read a book (or Steemit) while commuting.

You are not crazy. Younger people that were born after the car boom don't see them as amazing machines, progress and freedom symbols... they see cars as quite the opposite.

Better take your money and time and invest in better things.

The city I live in atm is so not pedestrian friendly. I agree though.

My City is not pedestrian friendly too. I live in Calgary... I ride my bike 23Km everyday to get to work.... and 23Km back. :) Things are changing and cities are shifting to better transportation infrastructure that accommodates all the users and not only drivers.

Yeah. I can't bike atm due to IC causing pelvic floor damage. It's hard to get around. I actually let my bike go because I can no longer use it. But hopefully one day I will be cycling again. (I am going to look into a recumbent bike too)

once I get my phone working (was sent a broken one) I am going to see how uber id in this area.

Future markets, holy wars.
Been tried ten thousand times before.

in my area it just got a lot more expensive. (when they removed surge pricing)

I hope you solve the anxiety issue soon. Luckily, cars have now started to drive on their own. So in a couple of years you probably won't have to worry about that anymore :)

I'm also 28 and abstained from having a driver's license until I was 24 for many of the same reasons. I hitch-hiked, ride-shared and primarily bicycled everywhere. I eventually caved because I realized life was short, and the amount of time and energy i was spending trying to get places using others' energy could be more efficient if I relied on myself a bit more

There's still something to be said for mindfulness. I admire your commitment

I gave up my car for UberPool or Uber. While I have no anxieties driving, it just seems like a better way. If my city didn't have awful public transport or the bare minimum of cycling friendliness, I'd probably give up Uber too. I hope to live in a city that'll just let me bike around.

I live in an out of the area part of town. I am wondering if uber will be effective here. I am waiting for an e-delivery from stupid walmart.com so I can turn on my new phone. If it's easy enough to use uber here I may do that. I can no longer use my regular bike from pelvic floor issues but thought of looking into a recumbent bike. Then again theres like no sidewalks here. So, I guess I hope to relocate to a better city for walkers/bikers as well. :) I am hoping to wind up in Portland, OR.

You can give Uber a shot. Hope you get to a pedestrian/biker friendly city. :) Unfortunately, I'm stuck for a bit.

"What happens exactly is that when I get onto the main road I am filled with panic and start violently shaking"
Well, if that can help, I am prettysure the other drivers are grateful you don't drive.

Seriously, I think you just lack practice and the problem the longer you stay without driving, the more difficult it will become to overcome. (may-be try a therapy ?)

Yeah I am going to be going to therapy but also I moved to a rural area that would be much better for me to learn. I know it isn't safe for me to be on the road in that state. haha

Hi! This post has a Flesch-Kincaid grade level of 6.7 and reading ease of 78%. This puts the writing level on par with Stephen King and Dan Brown.

Keep up the great work @lauralemons
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