My Scary Doctor's Appointment is Tomorrow.
I just need to write about it. Selfishly, for myself.
This appointment is clearly a good thing. I need to get properly diagnosed but the thing is....It is really, really hard for me to go out and do anything due to the raging UTI-type pain and peeing every 10 minutes and I am supposed to have a full bladder at this appointment?
Last time I consulted at that urology office I had to wait for an hour before being seen. I can't hold my urine for an hour? I never even can have a full bladder because it is SO painful and makes me unable to function or move?
On top of this I have to get myself there and back in a cab with no emotional support as I am living in a state with no friends and then once there I have to disrobe and pee in front of people, jump up and down coughing so leakage is tested. I have to have things painfully inserted into my inflamed holes.
I am scared, is the thing. I am really, really scared. I have the same feeling I used to get as a child who was thinking about going back to school where I would be bullied. My stomach is in a lump in my throat. I kind of feel like crying. I am looking forward to this being over and having treatment but the appointment will be hellish. I also know I have to fight my urologist on the medication he wants to give me because it causes a slowing of metabolism and weight gain in most users and I am already very overweight because of PCOS and not being able to move. I can't take it. I can't trade my pain for diabetes. sigh
I also have to really get across how disabled and in pain I am as I don't think he's quite grasping it. Although, seeing the damage on my bladder may make him actually listen and hear how bad it is. I need to be taken seriously.
I will be updating you guys tomorrow. Hopefully, with lifted spirits, answers, medication that I wanted, and hope.
You kind of gave the answer your self when you said :
I am looking forward to this being over.
Try and focus on that, that is what I do.
I also ask myself what is the worst thing that could happen.
Whatever I can come up with turns out not to be worth the stress I am having before the event.
Humor helps me a lot too.
I do hear you so I wish you the best tomorrow !
Take care
Before scary things like this I try to really pump myself up to be tough during the appointment, and then go and have a really good cry after it's all over. Don't know if that helps.
But good luck!!!
I am sending you as much good energy as I can.
We don't understand the frustration to must be going my through, but we hope this visit is the beginning of a path that has more comfort.
I'll be thinking about you tomorrow and wishing you well. I look forward to hearing good news on how it went!
Oh, how I wish I could be there for you. :( I really trust things will go your way.
Good luck and hope it's nothing serious.
It's definitely somewhat serious. It's been this way for 2 years. Pretty sure it's interstitial cystitis. It isn't lethal but it's also a really, really ugly incurable disease. lol
Yes that sucks, sorry. But use your mind for healing also, you'll be surprised at the power of your mind for self-healing issues. Good Luck.
I feel you. You can do this! We are with you!
I really hope they take you as seriously as this condition is for you. Having a doctor who understands how much this affects your life would really be a blessing.
Hang in there. I look forward to your update.