Is it caregiver burn out.

I am a caregiver for my ex mother in law she is eighty six . I am wearing down emotionally. I took on this responsibility because my ex husband was declared legally blind. I was not prepared for what that entailed. She was totally ambulatory and could prepare small meals there was not very much I needed to do for her as she was pretty self reliant. As the years went by she began weakening and losing cognitive function. As time went by she became less and less able to remain home alone, then she began to fall often. Her bodily functions began to be less under her control. I was not prepared to be a full time adult babysitter, but I felt somehow responsible, as I had told her while I was married to her son that we would "never put her in a home". She had taken care of her fully disabled husband until he passed at home. Her husband was a wonderful man, and loved her as much as she loved him. He asked me as he began to fail "please take care of her" I promised I would. I did not know how difficult this task would be and how trapped I would feel. I love her , but I don't know how much more of the diapers, worries, discussions about things that happened 20 years ago that she thinks happened yesterday I can stand. I want my life back but I also want to do the right thing. I want her to have good care and someone that really does want her around and I feel if I put her somewhere else that will no longer be the case. I love her, I care for her, I am just really very sad watching her fade away. I want to be there for her, but I want to live .