Annoying Gym Guys

I’m a regular gym goer. I’ve been a member in different fitness clubs in several countries even continents.
Wherever I go, I notice that every gym has some funny characters that would deserve a full page article or an award for being “special” to not offend any challenged groups.

Now here I commence my article series called THE GYM GOER TYPES

The “professional”

Characteristics:

1. He carries a huge sport bag. By no chance would he ever leave it in the locker. Oh no, no, no, no! He prefers to carry it around in the gym just to make sure he has all his tools close by. Preferred places to leave the bag?! Anywhere, where it’s in my f.ckin way! I assume it must take long years of experience to find these spots, cause they really touch my nerves!

2. So what’s in the bag? Well of course, that’s the guy who records himself deadlifting so he needs a camera with a stand. Why not?! God damn those too who like their videos on facebook. You are fueling the wrong things here maaaan. What else? Foam roll for his lower back pain, a pair of huge chains to make his barbell fancier or maybe he gets turned on by the sound of the chains hitting the ground. Oh yeah, his little notepad where he follows his performance so diligently, the guy should be an auditor. Honestly, not sure what else is there, probably a big dildo, these guys ain’t getting any, that’s for sure.
   

3. Ever seen a guy who is dressed up like he was going to play hockey but then he changed his mind and went running. He ended up wearing his thermo underwear, knee socks and shorts. Oh forgot about the knee, elbow protection. Finally he thought that’s the best outfit for the gym? This is our guy!!! I guess all those elastic clothes help him to keep his fat under control.

4. Now basic behaviour wise, these are the fellas that take 20 minutes to set up the camera, 10 minutes to load the weight and then they do 8 repetitions. That followed by a 10 minute break to upload the video and discuss the technic for deadlifting with the rest of the backpack buddies. Usual length of the work, 2 – 3 hours. Actual work out – 30 minutes :D.

5. The work out plan. Again, based on my observations. Monday - Deadlifts, Tuesday – deadlifts, Wednesday – deadlifts … you get the point

Do you recognize the guy in your gym? Do you have a better name for him? I’m still not sure about the professional, I’m sure we can do better.