What does having a bad memory say about you?
Has it ever happened to you to meet someone on the street, see them grinning in obvious excitement and not have a clue who that person might be? It has happened to me a number of times and it's quite a disturbing experience.
Once I got trapped on a subway ride, having to make small talk with someone whose face was vaguely familiar, but I couldn't remember his name or where had we met. It's a very awkward situation, as you cannot ask the person coming at you with a big smile on their face: 'Do I know you?'
I have a terrible memory and the fact that I've always been like that is kind of reassuring. At least I don't have to worry about getting Alzheimer, since I've been like this all my life.
A sign of intelligence
The question is why. Why don't I remember a person that obviously remembers me? Why don't I remember a movie everybody else remembers and I know for certain that I've seen it myself?
The idea for this post came from a study saying that forgetting unimportant stuff is actually a sign of intelligence and is good for the brain. Maybe the next time I meet someone I don't remember I could use this as an excuse.
'I'm sorry, but I'll have to ask you to refresh my memory as I don't know who you are. See, my brain has decided you were unimportant and erased you from my memory files!'
The process of deleting minor details and only remembering the big picture is supposed to help your brain work better, improving reasoning and decision-making abilities, making you more intelligent.
The introvert privilege
Another interesting theory says that introverts have a poor memory.
According to 'The Introvert Advantage' by Marti Olsen Laney, the neural pathways in introverts are longer and more complicated. That is why introverts tend to forget things or have trouble digging up memories of what was it like in 5th grade. Being an introvert myself, it was a blessing to stumble upon an Internet thread of people like me. I'm not alone in having a murky memory of parts of my life. There's nothing wrong with me if I don't remember a book I know I've read or if I find myself at the supermarket staring aimlessly at the shelves desperately trying to remember that one thing I know I went in to buy.
Things that make part of me
Before reading these theories I always attributed this somewhat annoying trait to the fact that I only care to remember important stuff. Things that matter to me, that made an impact on my life. Nothing to do with intelligence. It's more on an emotional level.
Like the guy I ran into on the subway, who turned out to be someone I used to work with. For me it was just some guy you smile to when you see him in front of the coffee-machine. A quick “hello, how are you?” and that's all. Obviously, you have no part in my life so why should I bother remembering your name. If I don't see you anymore at the coffee-machine I won't even notice the fact.
At the same time, I can still remember the phone number my best friend used to have 20 years ago. That was important because we used to talk for hours every day when we were in college and I remember her phone number because our friendship meant something.
I don't know if it's good or bad, it's just the way I am. Sometimes, I think my brain is like a very primitive computer with barely 250GB of memory, so I need to be careful what I want to store on it.
I would like to hear your comments, especially the ones that start 'Oh, I am just like you'...
Great post.
I have always had a poor memory but my particular failing is faces. I can meet and chat with someone and simply not recognise them next time we see each other.
Very awkward when watching films as I cannot tell the characters apart.
Yeah, I hate it when characters in a movie resemble too much.
Interesting post... made me think. I think everything is pretty much stored somewhere. Sometime I would forget something and then after half a day it would simply pop into my memory.
I am great with people's faces and would recognize you even if I saw you on some else's photo. The downfall is that sometime I think I know someone, but the reality is I've only seen them somewhere. :|
I wish I was better with names though. My wife have tough herself to listen carefully when someone introduce themselves and make sure she consciously "stores" the name - consequently she is amazing at remembering people's names which, of course, make them feel special.
I have a pretty good memory for faces but I live in a crowded city full of turists and vendors, so I just ignore everybody and keep walking, or else I would be stopped every 5 meters.
Being an artist I bet you have a good memory of faces :)
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My memory is pretty selective. Names are the biggest one. Faces I'm quite good at....I'm thinking maybe cuz I draw...so faces stay with me. But names....rare. I have the same issue here on steemit. I will know by avatar who someone is. I will know the content, but for the life of me won't remember the nickname.
I bet there is a lack of a substance produced in the brain to blame for this lack of memory rather than being introvert, or may be it is related ..