Compliments and Criticisms (Never let them get to you)
The four words that destroys more lives than any other thing is “What will people think ?”. Our lives are a journey and interestingly, we are all in charge of what road we will travel on. People will always talk no matter what and that is one thing I truly understand. Their actions towards you will inadvertently affect your decisions. Recently, I noticed how people giving us praises can make us happy and concurrently we feel sad when they spit on our efforts.
It is hard not to smile back when they feel proud of your achievements and give you that warm handshake. This also makes it harder when you fail and you are looked at with disgust.
What is one expected to do then?
My solution to this issue is simple. Making it a point to never acknowledge the reactions will keep your head always straight in the game. I personally have developed an attitude towards such people in my life. I give them a fake- smile anytime they pass compliments and when they start criticizing my actions, I still give them that same fake-smile.
Why the fake-Smile?
People can change. By being rude to someone for passing a comment you didn’t like, you are creating an unnecessary enmity which could cost you someday. Smiling even if it is fake creates a blissful atmosphere which surely can get you a favor when your paths cross again. No one knows tomorrow but that doesn’t mean ponder to everyone’s whims. We should be wise in our dealings with those we don’t “like”.
I feel this could be worded differently but I agree with it conceptually. That kind of "act as if" attitude. I just watched a video about motivation that actually feels like relates in a way, like kick start the positive and it will come.
Found it!
Great one there.
Diversified thinking.
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You're right. It's easy to be happy and glad and respond with a positive, kind manner when people are being good to us. But when we don't like that person or what they are saying, it's even more important to respond in a kind manner if possible. Much better if that fake smile can be genuine... but you've got to start somewhere. E x
This is very true @kwakumax. I can't just agree more. You just described people the exact way they are and we're killing ourselves bothering what they're thinking. I'm with you, being polite and friendly with them, always. I will just call it smile
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What I want is to be able to take both the slight and the compliment with the same even tone. I don't worry about someone who would sprinkle salt in my footsteps just to make sure nothing grows there, ever. What I do worry about is the person who is good to me today but somewhere down the line seeks to wound me the way family used to do when I do not do what they want. I need to learn how to deal with that. After all...betrayal never comes from the enemy.
So right now when someone says something to wound or embarrass me...I say to them "That's interesting. Tell me more!'. When they persist I then I say "Hmmm. What makes you feel that way?". And if they get past those two I go to "I see. Do you really believe that?". And at this point after their last response...I nod my head and I disengage.
When I hear a compliment I thank the person or nod my head and if they persist...I tell them that I certainly am a work in progress. I can no longer afford to give anyone that type of power over me. That power is given to me by the god of my understanding...for helping myself and helping others....nit for giving people ammunition so they can feel better at my expense. Like you I work toward being wise in how I deal with all people.
Cheers!
That's right. Complements must be treated like chewing gum, you can enjoy them but never swallow.