Why I can’t hate my mother !!!

Nonviolent Communication has taught me to see the goodness in the eyes of everyone. This has made my life miserable. It was fun when I used to blame another person for the actions or the behavior I don’t like. Now after learning NVC, I am no more able to see the wrongness in other. I just can’t. You might be thinking that this is such a sacred act of NOT seeing wrongness in other. But trust me, once you have learned this art, you will cry 24 hours either in pain or in happiness. I will explain you why.

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I have been in a serious problem here. I want to travel the world. I want to do something which makes me happy. I want to create change in the world. I want to engage with youths. I see so much suffering in the world and i want to do something about it. My mom also wants me to do something about it. This is the one thing which we have in common. You may think that this is a happy family.  

But there is one thing which is not common. The strategy. My mom wants me to become an engineer. Or to do government job. And I absolutely don’t want that. 

I have a high degree of confidence that the consciousness which created the problem, that consciousness cannot bring solution. So the answers to the world suffering will not come from the same systems which created the suffering. I don’t have solution for the world suffering. But I do know that solution is out there and it is still undiscovered. Someone has to think outside the leak to discover that solution. Someone needs to be uncomfortable to bring out the magic stick which will create change.  

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And I want to be that person. And I am aware that this path is not easy.  

This makes my mom uneasy. She cares for me. Every mom does. She wants my life to be full with happiness and abundance. She won’t let me choose what I want to choose because that she cannot see how that path leads to happiness.  

If this problem would have been before my journey of NVC, It would have been easy for me to blame her that she don’t understand me. But now as NVC says that every tragic express has an unmet need behind it. So I can see that she has a need for my well being. I might not agree with her strategy of me becoming government officer but I can surely understand from where does her need coming from. And this makes me hard to hate her. 

 So I am crying all day. Half of the time in happiness that how beautiful needs my mom has which includes my care and well being. And I cry half of the time in pain that at this time in the evolution of human civilization, we are still not able to find a solution where everyone is happy and every needs are met with enough care.          

 

-Inspired by the work of Marshall B Rosenberg.

Click to Read my previous blogs...

1. Why it is important to have people in life who don't judge
2. How moralistic judgment promote violence !!!
3. रिश्ते बनाने की कला - अहिंसक संवाद
4. Differentiating "idealized true gift" and "gift"
5. Gift Economy: A system of social ties and obligation

 This is a space for discussing tough subjects: both personal experiences and the massive challenges in the wider world. The culture of this blog is one of looking for the possibility of forward movement through loving engagement, even, and especially, in times of disagreement. Please practice nonviolence in your comments by combining truth and courage with care for me and others you’re in dialogue with.