Life Long Learning: Anyone around you is a Big Baby? How not to be one?

This session talked about a significant social behavior that people behave like an infant (as described) which causes tremendous social impact in our daily life.The study was done from the perspective of Psychoanalysis.In life, once you faced with these type of people:

1. Felt uncomfortable when not living in a collective group (similar interest);
2. Once in the collective group, crave to control others and let others be at their mercy;
3. Perfectionist, but not able to be one in reality; but when others are not perfect, they will feel infuriated;
4. If deviated from one's perfect imagination, one would complain and rage.

Then, you find yourself facing with a “Big Baby”.A 1-6 months old infant is in the oral stage when the infant usually interacts through the mouth (erogenous zone). The most significant behaviors are:

1. Maternal symbiosis can be referred as Pathological symbiosis in adult cases – the infant is totally dependent on the mother for survival, forming a symbiosis. (The infant has no capacity to take action, whereby fully dependent on the mother; the infant’s subjective consciousness cannot differentiate self and outside world, which causes to not able to understand the relevancy of events to themselves)
2. Narcissism – the deification of themselves and able to summon whatever and whoever. The world has to work as they expect. (like the infant hungry, they cry to gain attention hence getting feed)
3. Paranoid Split (Schizophonia) – Extremist with only right and wrong, black and white. (Right, hence happy and smile; wrong, hence angry and cry)

In the society, these behaviors are easily identified especially in the social media. How to prevent ourselves from being a “Big Baby”? There are four ways to do so:

First way: Love – an ability worth to learn it lifelong (if its parents telling you that it is for your own good, that is control and at their mercy); the essence of love is to understand and accept.

 Secondly, use liberalism to treat pathological symbiosis collectivism – read a lot to sharpen your cognitive ability (understand more concept and knowledge).

 Third, Self Awareness – when infuriated, don’t take respond immediately but delay the time of action (have to train intentionally, be aware when you are furious). By aware of own mood, one can control their emotion. (like those who easily get emotional and cry can try looking at the mirror to make self-awareness)

Lastly, Action – being an infant, one literally traps in their own world (mind). Once the first step is taken, the reality will step into you, you have to face the challenge and achieve the goal (rather imagine how you will fail). 

这是一篇有关精神分析的读后分享。在生活中，一旦面对如此一类人：

1. 不共生在一个集体中浑身难受；
2. 一旦共生在集体中，却总想控制和摆布别人；
3. 对自己要求完美，虽然自己做不到；但其他人不完美，就会暴怒；
4. 只要稍微偏离他的想像，他就会抱怨到暴怒，无所不做。

你就可以以极其简洁的词汇来形容他，巨婴。一到六个月大的婴儿是在口欲期，用嘴来感知世界。他们最大的特征是：

1. 母婴共生，在成人可称为病态共生– 婴儿得完全靠母亲来存活，形成了共生。（婴儿没有行动能力，所以母亲得伺候；其主观意识也是无法分辨自我和外界之间的区别，就是牵连到自己或毫无关系）
2. 全能自恋– 神化自己，怎么使唤，就得到什么。世界得按照自己的想像行走。
3. 偏执分裂- 不存在灰色地带，只有对和错，极度极端。顺其意，就开心（笑，毫无表情）；不顺其意，就自我崩溃（哭）。

在社会中，很容易发觉周围存在这类心理特征的成人，可以称他们为巨婴。那该怎么避免成为一个巨婴呢？四个方法：

1. 爱 – 值得用一生的时间去追逐的能力（父母说，对你好，那叫摆布和控制）；理解和接纳，才是爱的玄处。
2. 用自由主义来治疗病态共生的集体主义 - 海量阅读，把自己的认知世界无限扩大。
3. 觉知 - 当我们像婴儿般，别人不符合我们的想象，让我们怒气冲天。别急着说话，慢一拍。（这得刻意训练，尤其意识到自己表达不满情绪时）其实觉知自己的情绪，就是在瓦解自己的情绪。（比如，爱哭的女孩可以试着照镜子来瓦解自己的情绪）
4. 行动 - 婴儿最恐怖的牢笼，就是永远活在自己的脑子里。只要开始行动，就能脱离想像中的世界，一路必须面对不一样的挑战，才能达成目的。

Hoping this will spread the awareness to start to be like an adult, learn how to love, be liberal, aware of self-doing and take action.