The Peter Pan syndrome and the Wendy complex

It is curious how the world of literature and stories, have brought us personality profiles with which many have been identified throughout history in one way or another. Surely you've heard on more than one occasion about the Peter Pan syndrome , about those men who refuse to grow up or take responsibility for adult life.

But do you also know the so-called Wendy complex? Let's talk today about these two profiles accepted within the "popular psychology", stating that they do not involve any kind of medical or psychiatric problem. They are not mental disorders nor are they defined in any manual such as the DSM-V or the ICD-10.

They are, simply, common behaviors, curious ways to focus life and that even you have been able to see more than once in people around you.

Peter Pan syndrome
This idea acquired certain social popularity after in 1983, a book called "The Peter Pan Syndrome: Men Who Have Never Grown Up " ("The Peter Pan syndrome, the person who never grows"), written by Dr. Dan Kiley, was published. . Well, this profile is usually associated with the male gender, but in reality, we can apply it perfectly to both genders. Both men and women can demonstrate this type of behavior on more than one occasion:
People who see in a negative way not only the idea of ​​aging , but who refuse to assume adult and mature competences because it is associated in turn with the idea of ​​being responsible. To be older, to grow up and leave aside youth.
They usually have many problems to maintain a relationship,
They are afraid of loneliness, prefer to have an endless number of friends, despite the fact that these friendships are sometimes empty and with little connection.
In general, they show a rather low self-esteem. They are dependent on others and obsess over what others may say or think about them.
The idea of ​​maturing, of being responsible, scares them, is like a way to cut their wings and their own freedom.
They have a very low tolerance for frustration.
They are self-centered, always putting their own needs before them.
They are irresponsible, they lack initiative.
The Wendy complex
We could say that today, the Wendy complex is no longer so frequent. We saw it more in previous generations, in women who needed first of all, to satisfy the other person and especially their partner to show their affection and their love. If we remember the novel by Peter Pan, you will immediately see the character of Wendy Darling as that girl who not only turns to taking care of her own brothers, but also, her emotional and protective union is also directed towards all "children" lost "
In a metaphorical way, Wendy becomes almost the mother of "Peter Pan", assuming many responsibilities to take care of him, promising, for example, that he will visit him every spring to clean and order his house, and to keep him company. Before a child who refuses to grow up, Wendy assumes more than the role of "couple" , the role of mother. Let's see some characteristics, dimensions that as we say, have lost a bit their intensity in today's woman.

They are women who self-sacrifice for others, for their children, husbands and family losing their own self-esteem.
They assume a maternal and paternal role with their own partners.
They seek above all to take care of others, and especially their partners. This is how they conceive love, they are, so to speak, the perfect companions for immature men.
They tend to suffer a great inferiorida d complex , they fear that one day they will no longer be useful and that they will be abandoned.
They are aware that the people they care for and protect, abuse them, but even so, they can not avoid doing it.
They can do for others things that go against themselves, but they assume it. In spite of the fact that this brings them frustration and despair.
As you see, they are two social phenomena that we have all seen on occasion . Personalities that do not always find true happiness and do not know how to offer it in a healthy way. Do you know anyone with Wendy's syndrome or the Peter Pan complex? If you liked this article, you also know about Hikikomori syndrome. Surprising!