"The Bitch" Of Loving Others
WHY IS HAPPINESS SUCH A HARD GIG?
I AM TIRED OF IT ALL, I HAVE SAID IT BEFORE
NOW IT IS BECOMING TO SOUND LIKE A REINSTATED OPINION.
THE MOMENTS WHEN I AM SMILING, I KNOW TO TAKE IN AND ENJOY.
I FIND MYSELF DISTANCING MYSELF.
ABANDONING THE MANY WHO CREATE MY CIRCLE OF JOY.
I AM WORKING ON IT, I PROMISE.
I AM MAKING DEPRESSION MY BITCH, BUT LEAVING BED IS HARD
AND SO IS IGNORING THE MASSIVE DARK MATTER THAT IS KNOCKING ON MY PSYCHES DOOR.
Am working on it 👍🙋♀️
Yeah
Happy weekend
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Decisions and such...
yeah?
To me the "abandoning" of people is kind of an illusion. It's simply that we are on different paths and sometimes we have trouble of letting go of the "what was" and realizing that the "what is" is the only thing that matters. I have lots of "what was" that I can waste my entire life dwelling on, and I have lots of "what might be" that I can hope and dream about, but the only thing that ever really exists is "what is" and it only exists now.
I'm just in a weird state of wondering if my distancing from close friends is what I should be doing as of now, which would be the complete opposite of what I would do, but maybe making myself do so harmlessly as of now won't hurt, maybe it will be a good challenge.
That is a crappy feeling, but I've found for me it helps to just be "receptive" to what the universe puts in my path instead of trying to put people or things in my path. Obviously I don't know everything or what will work for you, but hopefully that makes sense. Sometimes people you forgot about pop back up and before you know it, the other people are off doing their own thing. I feel like life comes in "cycles" and some times people aren't meant to be permanent fixtures in our lives. It's like "making room" for new people by "removing" old people in my mind. It just seems like people are really good at removing themselves at inopportune times, but then again, time is pretty much irrelevant in the grand scheme of things, just another illusion of "control" us humans try to put on the world. We will never control existence, just our own existence.
Yes, yes, you get it.