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RE: We are hot but still single. Why girls from generation Y have problems tying the knot.

in #life8 years ago

I really like this article I feel it's true in a lot of ways. But I also have mixed feelings on it.

I'm 23 and my longest relationship has been 5 years. At that point i feel like we searched every avenue and tried every way to make it work,. But at some point you have to realize when the person isn't right for you. His life goals weren't following mine the way I feel they should if I were to marry him.

The Divorce rates of the generation behind us, are pretty ugly. I feel that we see that and want to avoid making the same mistake for ourselves.

Also more opportunities, Jobs and other things geared towards Women are coming more and more present. We can make our own money and we don't need a guy to do it for us! We also can spend our money wherever we want it if we are single (Assuming the women and man pay 50/50 for dates and such. I think Generation Y will get married at some point, But much later on rather than sooner. Maybe our thirties will be our time to settle down a little bit .

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" His life goals weren't following mine the way I feel they should if I were to marry him."

This quote is exactly what the article was talking about. You were demanding a specific set of life goals out of your partner. Those are your life goals you were imposing on him. When you find the right person, while you will know the life goals of your partner, you'll never try to interfere or demand more because you will be happy with them in regards to you and your relationship, rather than unhappy about the fact that the things in life they do that make them happy aren't good enough(don't correspond) to match with yours on your terms at your standards. The fact that your partner is happy in their life and goals and treats you and your relationship well and values you and the relationship should be good enough for anyone, trying to get someone to change their life goals for you is manipulative and irresponsible(not saying you personally did this, but the perspective of the situation you have given makes it seem like you spent a lot of time trying to change someone to make your relationship work) and will almost always end poorly.

You're still pretty young though, and your attitude is pretty standard for most 16-25 year old women from gen x or y. At least in my experience.

"Assuming the women and man pay 50/50 for dates and such."

This is extremely rare. Happens, but usually one party pays ime, and it's usually the guy. It isn't really a sexist or misogynistic thing, just that a lot of men were raised with respect and manors by an older generation where that was just what you did. And it still just is kind of common practice as far as I am aware. It's kind of like a guy opening the door or pulling out your seat for you.

"I think Generation Y will get married at some point, But much later on rather than sooner. Maybe our thirties will be our time to settle down a little bit ."

This is happening a lot more, but while sometimes it is settling down later just because you've found the right person, it is just as often that women(and sometimes men as well), at some point in their early 30s, go into desperate biological clock mode/baby fever and make worse decisions about who they choose to reproduce with than they would have at 23. (http://www.alternet.org/story/155103/why_women_(and_men)get%22baby_fever%22)

Again, your post very aptly made the point of this article ring true, definitely an interesting perspective.

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