When all else fails, scream.
The hardfork happened. I don't rightly care. I'm trying to keep myself in a state of acceptance and flowing with life while it feels like the world is falling apart. I keep trying to look for the good (and there is good), when so much is going wrong.
Yesterday I had to leave my sweet Toby cat at the vet. He will be there for a few days. I spent much of the day crying.
Besides the sadness of worrying about my beloved kitty and the way it triggered me to mourn my last two cats all over again, there is a looming anger. A sense of helplessness.
I want to scream, but I stay quiet, because I don't want to concern my neighbours. They probably wouldn't even care. I saw this on FB today and shared it (originally posted by Suzanne Sterling). Figured I'd share it here, too.
I feel helpless because the vet bill will be large, and will just add more weight to the burden my partner bears providing for us. I live in the country, 30 minutes from town, and don't have much for money-making options up here. It's also one more hurdle blocking me from getting a dog. Maybe the foster puppy was too much stress on my kitty. Maybe I can't afford a dog anyway.
I look around at my things and wonder what I should sell. I look at my unfinished deck and wonder if we can get the railings on and get our occupancy permit so my insurance company won't freak out if I have yoga classes here.
I look at the assholes in government and the fires that are taking so many trees, killing wildlife and displacing so many, and wonder how we as a species are going to survive.
We only have one planet. Don't they care about the air we breathe and the water we drink? How are people so greedy that they welcome the sickening of our entire ecosystem?
Perhaps today I will scream. Yell and roar and let it all out.
I will also do yoga, and send healing light to my kitty, and to the world. I will continue to acknowledge the good people, who exist in great numbers, who love our planet and are helping by planting trees and choosing to change habits that are detrimental to our continued existance.
Life is a yin-yang. It is delightful, and it is horrifying. It brings joy and deep, heart-wrenching sorrow.
Hanging onto my surfboard over here. Keep breathing, y'all.
Love is stronger than fear.
Dragon art commissioned from Liiga Smilshkalne.
Keep kicking ass! I know to some this post may seem really down but your determination and strength are extremely motivational! Thanks for sharing your struggles and strength!
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Thank you for seeing the determination. I don't mean it to be a downer post, just an honest one. I'm not about to give up on myself, my family, or the collective family of all the sentient beings on this planet, but sometimes I just gotta let it out. And sometimes hope is found in the darkest places.
Feel free to let it out, let the world know ya feel! ;-) Hope your cat is doing well at the vets.
Oh, do I ever feel. ;) And thank you. They say he's doing well so far.
Not sure if you've ever listened to the lyrics in this but falls in line with your (and my, and probably countless others') frustrations. Oh and Janet is hella hot in this one LOL! Miss you and know you're loved!
Great share, thank you. Miss you too. Much love!
Someone needs to scream loud enough to get attention, because no one who needs to be is listening. I like that.
I hope your kitty is doing well! I remember nursing mine back from the brink of death when she was just a few months old. Now she's my best friend, arguably more than the dog. She's my ghost cat: she'll be sitting in a box beside my desk, I'll focus on work, then when I go to give her a pat, she's gone. Poof. Just like a ghost.
We're going to survive as a species in spite of "making things great again." We'll survive because there are good people who deserve it.
Aw, thank you for sharing. I'm so glad your cat is doing well. Yes, we will survive. And we will raise our voices so that those who think they are alone will realize they are not.
Indeed. This knowledge only makes it marginally easier to bear sometimes. So sorry about your cat, and that you are having a tough time. Hugs xxx
Thanks, sweetheart. He is home and feeling better now. Yay!
Firstly sending healing thoughts to your Kitty may he come back to you soon healthy and full of life,
Its only natural to want to scream and. Think sometimes we just have to forget everyone and everything else and let that scream out
Indeed. Thank you so much. He's doing well at the vet's.
That’s good news
I am sorry that your heart feels so burdened. I too try to hold everything in and stay quiet, but there are times when we just need to scream, "why?"
Grief is a funny thing, as letting go of today's joys remind us of past joys that we released from hands. I pray for peace in your ehart!
I so appreciate that, thank you. And yes, grief comes in cycles. Life comes in cycles. So I step outside and breathe in the green of the forest that surrounds me, and focus on the beauty offered in the now.
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to heck with the neighbours .. step out and scream bloody murder. warn the kids first though eh .. Hope kitty is okay
Ha! Yes. And thank you. Vet says so far so good.
I can completely relate on all counts.
And my own elder statesman, Bear, will be fifteen this November, and is showing signs of slowing down, including losing weight.
He is my rock, and I will be devastated when he leaves me, but that is the way of things. I'm doing my best to give more cuddle time. All I can hope is to maintain his good health and quality of life for as long as is possible.
But, as you will see in my coming post, and despite all the bad news, and worries about my kitty boy, there is much cause for hope, and love is indeed stronger than fear.
And goodness and kindness will prevail in the end. This I believe in my heart.
But a good heartfelt scream never hurt anyone, and sometimes, it's the only way to relieve the stress. So go for it, my fellow spiritual warrior! ;-)
Blessings, good health and restful peace for your own kitty, and for you and yours. May this year bless you all richly.
Thank you, my friend. Toby is home and feeling much better. Sending love to you and yours.