When you are young you look for those who stand out, that's correct. From my personal experience those guys have some sort of complex and they are not what they show to the world. When you have enough of that kind, you start to notice that those shy, not being loud have more to tell and give. Just it's matter of time, person, and things you learn or don't. I believe there is no magic recipe to men women relations, maybe that one you wrote is only true, just be yourself :)