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RE: "Saying NO To Toxicity..."
Oh, shit.. I just realized.. how I perpetuate that (neediness, greed, entitlement, audacity) dynamic. It is ONLY possible because I occupy a rather arrogant position of being, having, living MORE than that who'd wish to leach off of it.
And THAT is just not true. I don't have to level with them on the ground, but I can hold them to my calibre, recognize the truth. They have their own spine to lean on, their own massive backing of energy and I do a HUGE disservice by perceiving them as less of.. for then they look to me as their saviour, instead of looking at themselves!
And then, if I hold them true to my own calibre, not only does that help them realize their potential, but I also get them off of my energetical back..! HA!
(mindblown)
😁
I can't help but notice, how I'm quite undefined.. in comparison to others, but I'm not quite sure what to make of it.
The KEY thing about open centers:
These are where we tend to amplify and distort.
So it could likely be that when you get triggered, it’s that you’re picking up (as the open centers are more like receivers than transmitters for frequency) others’ energy, amplifying, then distorting it.
The alternative that comes with increased awareness is mere observation, acknowledgement of what is not yours, and the wisdom of what exists on those frequency spectrum you’re picking up without indemnify it with it.
😉
"IDENTIFY" with it. (Last sentence. stupid Steemit wouldn't let me edit, giving me error message).
(I'd also guess that this is a matter where waiting for the emotional waves before responding might come in handy, as that time delay may allow us to process out what we've taken in - giving us more time to discern whether we've amplified and distorted or not, and thus not reacting prematurely based on those distortions).
Amplifying and distorting does sound familiar.. yes.
There's quite a bit going on lately, a lot to process. Like this morning going to work, I totally felt my "get out of my way" bubble and it was curious to recognize it for what it was. Like I am not here to validate myself to anyone, I am moving because it's time to move, simple as. Whoever else is moving or staying put is none of my concern.
That bubble.. it feels right. In a reeeally weird way. I guess I'm so not used to.. owning it..?
Sure, I have to learn to inform, I'll try my best not to forget that, but the anger (either my own or someone else's) will surely remind me. ;)
The other thing I'm noticing though is that I have to learn to recognize when I have to initiate. As I have been avoiding initiating my whole life it is now a habit I have to unlearn. So I have to listen carefully and distinguish between my mind thinking it knows better and wanting to initiate and that tiny little voice I've been bulldozing over for years. Because if I don't initiate when I have to - it is actually a violation of a border, that makes others uneasy.. so uneasy in fact that they come looking for me to initiate me.. and then it goes south. :D
This I believe is going to be the trickiest part for me.. learning to initiate. And unlearning of shrinking myself.
I've noticed instances where I have failed at this miserably and the consequences of that, but I am also noticing where I'm starting to make progress.
Pardon my rambles,
Just sorting my head.. :)
How are you, though?
What is YOUR latest curiosity?
I'm sure it's not accidents of objects falling and breaking.. ;)
Hugs&Coffee,
~Josie~
I guess that’s what must be meant by the “closed and repelling aura.” Interesting to hear a Manifestor’s experience of that in different wording.
I’d guess that the key to your initiation lies in your authority - waiting out whatever emotional waves for clarity that whatever it is is in fact the correct thing to be initiating.
...
I’m... hmmm...
Primarily been in recovery mode, physical & emotional. Slow process.
Been putting in work on a remix that just finished & dropped today. I’m definitely understand more of my triple-activated Gate 9 (of Details)... absolutely loving the process of refining my senses and skills to diver deeper and deeper into the alchemy of production. I love the sense of improvement, each new project going into new territory, building upon past achievements, and exploring new dimensions. I had a lot of fun with this one, and found it nice to sort of find a sustainable workflow & groove as managing my time & energy effectively & efficiently - whereas I used to burn out easy by pushing too hard when the waves of energy weren’t there for it. Ahhh, yes. Sigh. The smile on my face. Lol.
Aside from that... no curiosities coming to mind, really. Still leaking a lot of energy from the open separation wounds and physical challenges lately (although there has been slight improvement the last week), so focus split between the healing and music. Not much attention span for a whole lot else, other than the usual bit of Human Design & astrology...
Kisses&Scotch,
~Rok~
lol 😁
Scotch will do just nicely, thank you! ^^
flops in a chair
That refining the senses and skills part sounds like something really delicious.. and surely, important now to overwork onself.. (says the hypocrite).. what? khem.. who said that? khe-khe..
I .. shall look into the super slave phenomenon.. just to reassure myself that I'm nowhere even near that yet. :)
Some people seem to be concerned, but I'm not even sure about what. I'm not drained by work itself as much as .. say interpersonal, psychological strife.. which is luckily something that is not even that predominant these days.
...and by saying all this I sound like a typical case of someone in denial.. nice. :D
Carry on, move along, nothing to see here. xD
;)
Lol. You have an interesting, funny style sometimes.
I didn’t mean “push too hard” to be overworking, so much as working against the creative flow. Maybe it’s the 12-22 channel, where the energy is either there or not - ‘in the mood, or not... I never totally understood this phenomena, and operating out of very Manifestor & defined-heart/ego/will type conditioning (not-self), I’d frequently be of the motivational “hustle” mentality, trying to be “disciplined” and take it so seriously, sitting down driven by mind to push my way through when the energy wasn’t actually there. fuck, those were some painful times!
This project was especially more interesting as I was attuning to the waves and riding them, taking more frequent breaks, operating in bursts. Was sorta forced at the beginning, as the stuff with my body going on required a lot of stretching/rest and I could only sit for so long between needing the breaks - though perhaps that was almost sort of a gateway to the experience of riding those waves for half hour or hour, then walk away and recharge for a bit until was feeling the next burst. Also - not starting in the day until I actually felt it, versus trying to follow some conventional “start early” schedule... my creative hours typically are later, with much better results and experience honouring that rather than swimming against the stream.
Of course, I’ve also gone through straight-up overworking myself too. Not so much with music, but more a intensity with studies, writing, and mental activity. Though I guess I had to experience what burnout was like sometime or another, so may as well ‘go big or go home.’ Lol.
My goodness, my writing feels like a mess today. 🤐