The Crux Pt. 2

“I feel like I’ve been deprived of so much…that just explains my existence: science, philosophy, psychology, eastern religion, anti-religion.”

A week ago, I began the endeavor of unpackaging the above statement. This statement was an admission of mine amidst some thorough meditation one day. In my last post, I labeled this revelation as “the crux of my entire existential crisis.” Today, I intend to expand a little on my mention of philosophy.

My upbringing was heavily embedded in taking Christian scripture at a rigid face-value. Naturally, that caused me to have a rather polarized worldview. I felt the obligation to cram my literal understandings into a tiny bubble and never deviate from it. I believed everything outside that metaphorical bubble was the Devil and we all should fear it. Relying on philosophy beyond a Sunday sermon fell outside of that bubble. Attempting to study ancient philosophers was like playing with hellfire and heresy.

A quick Google search defines philosophy as, “The study of the fundamental nature of knowledge, reality, and existence, especially when considered as an academic discipline.” I suppose my simple definition of it is “articulating how things ought to be.” The keyword there is ought. You don’t necessarily have to claim absolutes, just be aware of the fundamentals of nature.

So, then, how is earnestly trying to understand all of God’s creation more and more an evil endeavor? If everything that was-and-is is considered God’s good creation, what authority do we have to pick and choose what we can hold in contempt? I’m convinced every single one of us is constantly seeking the fundamental nature of everything we do. Isn’t that in it of itself a Godly act - to be self-aware? I am not convinced we can have an accurate understanding of an idea without sympathizing with various perspectives. You don’t have to claim absolutes, just be aware.

Again, I want to stress that this is not an attack on Christianity. It is more or less an attack on myself - an open diary. I challenge you to journey outside your ideology and bias to have a deeper appreciation for your perspective on how things ought to be.

Stay aware,

Joey Smith