20 Skills Every Man Should Have In Order To Be A Better Man:

This is an example of an impressive stereotype

Most people think of "manliness" as a negative stereotype. They get the image of some dick-swinging dude-bro, wearing a sleeveless, "Tap-out" t-shirt, who swaggers around making rude and inappropriate comments to women, while slapping them on the ass. An attitude of machismo and douchebaggery if you will... Nothing could be further from the truth. That type of guy isn't a "man". He's a grown boy... Masculinity is much more nuanced than the obnoxious and annoying stereotype that 3rd wave feminists like to prop up under the label of "toxic masculinity".

What truly makes a man is having a quiet strength, knowledge, and confidence that allows him to rise to the occasion when other people are lost or incapable of doing so. It requires a certain skill set and attitude that have elements of nuance and subtlety. So, I thought I'd compile a list of 20 skills that every man should have in order to be a "manly" man of the highest order...

20: Know How to Iron a Shirt

There will eventually come a formal occasion in which a man is required to put on a shirt and tie (unless he already has a career that requires it). Be it wedding or funeral. When that occasion arrives, the last thing you want to do is look like you should be sitting at the "kid table". A man knows how to properly present himself for any formal occasion, and makes sure that his attire is properly ironed and pressed.

19: Know How to Tie a Necktie

A Windsor knot is the most common way to tie a necktie. And this skill is a necessary component that compliments skill #20. If you are asking someone else to tie a Windsor knot for you, you're still a child... That's just the way it is. Now move along and take your seat at the kid table where you belong.

18: Know How to Change a Tire

This one seems rather obvious, but you'd be surprised how many adult males don't know how to perform this basic task. AAA is a great service, but if you're calling them for a flat... the AAA driver who shows up will likely be wondering why the "damsel in distress" looks like a guy who has his thumb stuck up his ass...

17: Know How to Grow and Properly Groom a Beard

This one is simple, and sadly, many young men today put way too much effort into it. So here's the trick... Let it grow, and trim it to an even length... That's it! The only reason for a man to style his beard is if he's growing a handlebar mustache in order to compliment that beard... Anything other than that is just another form of masturbation...

16: Know How to Properly Grill a Steak

Most men know how to fire up a grill. Very few know how to actually use one... Every man should know how to cook a steak over an open flame... It's a core component to our basic, primal functions. Eat, reproduce, and provide... If you're not doing it right, what are you doing here in the first place? Please slowly step away from the grill and let the man handle it.

15: Know How to Administer First Aid

This one is very important. There is no reason that any man shouldn't be capable of rising to the challenge of helping another person in need when they're choking on a piece of steak, grilled to perfection, that you just prepared for them... That fine cut of beef shouldn't be their last memory. Or maybe it should... Regardless, you should be capable of helping your fellow man in their time of need.

14: Know How to Truly Appreciate Alcohol

"Jagerbombs bro!!!"... No! That's not how a man appreciates the nectar of the gods... Drinking fast and getting "fucked up" is what irresponsible heathens do... You're better than that. A man can appreciate the warmth and comfort that a fine spirit provides. Take your time, and know how to savor and appreciate the subtle nuances of your adult beverage. Fine spirits are best experienced without mixers. 'Neat' is the preferred method of consumption. One ice cube is acceptable. Anything other than that is just flavored water.

13: Know How to Navigate with a Map and Compass

A basic sense of direction is something that should be inherent to any man worth his salt... Yet, GPS is something that many adult males would find themselves lost without. Keeping a map and compass handy, and knowing how to use both, is an important skill to have when you don't have cell or satellite service. Get in touch with your roots and pay attention to your surroundings without looking at a damn computer screen... What's the point of travel if you're not taking in the scenery along the way?

12: Know How to Pick a Lock

This one may seem a little strange, but hear me out... Have you ever locked yourself out of your home, car, whatever? It can be a helpless situation. A man shouldn't have to call someone else to bail him out. He should be able to have the tools and know-how at his own disposal. Do you really want to play second fiddle to the locksmiths' apprentice while your wife or girlfriend is watching him save the day? I didn't think so...

11: Know How to Build and Maintain a Fire

This is another skill that keeps us in touch with our primal roots. Our ability as man to build and maintain fire is the cornerstone of civilization. If it weren't for our ability to control the flame, we'd probably still be hiding in caves as packs of devolved, terrified, little rodents...

It allows us to cook our food, warm our homes, and gives us a comforting beacon to gather around in social groups. Those basic examples of the importance of fire are sadly no longer relevant in modern society. But that doesn't mean that we should forget the importance of how much it's responsible for us developing into the modern men that we are today.

And even today, you could still find yourself in a situation when knowing how to build and maintain a fire could mean the difference between life and death. So even the modern man should know how to build and maintain a fire. If for no other reason... preventative maintenance.

10: Know How to Wear a "Poker Face"

This isn't a skill that's only necessary at the card table. Being capable of not wearing your emotions on your face is an important skill to have in everyday life. Your facial expression says quite a bit about what you're thinking or feeling. And there are certain situations in which that is not a good thing. Whether it be negotiating a deal with a car salesmen, or haggling over a bill that's way too overpriced. Everybody pays attention to your face and body language for subtle ques about what your thinking. A man shouldn't give them an opportunity to exploit it.

9: Be Honest and Own Your Mistakes

This one can be a tough pill to swallow... But every man, at one time or another, is going to make a poor decision that they have to answer for. As men, we are all fallible... That's just a fact. So when that inevitability happens, A man needs to own up to it. Not just because it's the right thing to do, but because it also establishes that he's honest. And that's a currency that carries a lot of weight in establishing him as trustworthy. And that's a quality you definitely want in helping with your reputation as being man who people can count on. Regardless of the situation.

8: Be Direct and Concise

A man doesn't beat around the bush. If he has something worth saying, he's direct and to the point... When a person "hims and haws", and dicks around the issue, they're showing that they're not confident in what it is they're trying to say. And whoever it is that they're addressing, isn't going to respect what they're saying or take it seriously.

7: Know How to Start Up and End a Conversation

Being able to "break the ice" is an important social convention for any man. Few things are more awkward than finding yourself in a conversational "dead zone". Knowing how to effectively communicate with another individual, or within a group is especially important. Being in control of the conversation establishes a subtle form of dominance that others in the group will subconsciously recognize as such. And it lets them know that you're someone who can take charge. Just as importantly, being able to excuse yourself without being rude, lets them see that you still respect their input, even though it's time to part ways.

6: Be Respectful to Strangers

There's an old saying that says, "you can learn everything you need to know about a person by how they treat a waitress". I believe that to be 100% true. The attitude a man has toward a stranger speaks volumes about their individual character. The way you treat people will generally be amplified back onto yourself. Especially from people who are waiting on you.

5: Treat the Woman in Your Life Like a Queen (but don't be a pushover)

At the risk of sounding pretentious, this is probably going to be the most profound and philosophical part of my list... For what it's worth...

A mans' wife or girlfriend should be the whole reason that he wakes up everyday. She should also be the reason that he tries to make himself a better man than he was yesterday. If he's the king of his kingdom, then it only makes sense that she would be his queen. But with that said, she's still a woman... And she's just as handicapped by her own femininity as the man is by his own masculinity. And therein lies the balance and turmoil. The Yin and the Yang... The positive and negative furies that help us find balance in our relationships while navigating around the chaos...

My point is, that while men can be driven by desire and jealousy, women also are driven by the same. They just express it differently. So as much as the man is driven by his primal need to provide and protect on a base level. The woman still needs to know that she's being provided for and protected by a man who's capable. And she will test that by pushing buttons that she knows will trigger those base impulses. And while she'll do it through manipulative tactics that question your masculinity without directly doing so, she's still testing how you respond. And as a man, the only recourse you have, is to accept it for what it is, and stand your ground. Even if standing your ground means knowing when to remove yourself from the situation until the shit blows over...

And that doesn't make her wrong. Just like you, she's following her instincts. And that's just her subtle way of letting you know that she already has a pussy and she doesn't need another one...

4: Know How to Be Confident Without Being Cocky

Confidence is a character trait of a man who will show you that he knows what he's doing, but is still humble enough to do it without showing off. Being cocky is a projection of insecurity by a person who knows what they're doing, but won't shut up about the fact that they know how to do it. In other words, a loudmouth asshole... If you can use your ability to show others how to do something... Do it! Otherwise, shut the hell up about it. Nobody likes a loudmouth asshole...

3: Know How to Take Criticism, and Know How to Accept a Compliment

Having to endure criticism is probably the most difficult situation a man will find himself dealing with. But again, we are all fallible... Even though we may be smart, capable, and knowledgeable, other people are still capable of offering us insight we may have otherwise missed. And having an open mind and accepting outside input is another critical skill in what it means to be a man.

On the other side of that coin, accepting a compliment carries its own weight. Some people aren't capable of accepting a compliment without being arrogant or defensive in doing so. Narcissism or insecurity are usually the two driving forces behind those responses.

As was brought up in a prior section on this list, humility is a manly characteristic. A man will exercise that virtue...

2: Know How and When it's Appropriate to Curse

Cursing is an art in and of itself. And contrary to what some people may think, there is an appropriate time to properly practice that art. Knowing how to use coarse language is another component of how to be a man. But it can be overdone, and usually is... Throwing out "shits" and "fucks" in general conversation for no other purpose than "conversational filler", takes away the impact that those words have when trying to make a point. And it also makes you look like an idiot with a limited vocabulary.

Think of it this way... If your grandmother were speaking to you, and uncharacteristically said "fuck" in the middle of it, it would immediately snap you to attention. That's the point of cursing. To bring attention to what you're saying. A man uses it sparingly, and when it's necessary to drive a point. Otherwise it loses its effectiveness.

And even if she does happen to drop that word. Never say "fuck" in front of your grandmother. That's just disrespectful...

1: Know How to Keep Your Cool, and When That Doesn't Work, Know How to Land a Punch...

Whenever a man finds himself in a situation that could require a use of force, diplomacy should always be the first course of action. Assuming that he's able to utilize the skills from #10, #8, #7, and #6 on this list, it shouldn't really go any further than that. The situation should be diffused, and everybody should go about the rest of their day unscathed... But unfortunately, there are just some really disagreeable assholes out there. And they just won't let it go that easily. And that's when the art of pugilism comes into action.

So, a man has exhausted his civil course of action, and now finds himself in the position of having to physically diffuse the situation... So what next?

Well, this isn't a tutorial on the methods of self-defense. Just as much as it isn't a tutorial on how to maintain a healthy relationship. This isn't a self-help manual. As a man, you need to look up, research, and apply the methods to the outline that I've set forth in this post. But, with that said, just remember this one rule... Thumb out. Ribs. Kidney...

Hello, my name is Joe... I'm not a life coach, counselor, or any other form of licensed charlatan. I'm just a part time humorist, half time student of human behavior, whose chosen profession is that of full time bartender. I've been doing so for the better part of two decades. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this musing and I'll catch you sometime further down the line.