How to become an Adult

From about 20 to 35 I used to think someday soon someone is going to come and tell me "Stop pretending, you are not a grown up - now go and sit down in the corner".

I mean what is it that makes us an adult? You may be fully grown, drive a car, stay up late, maybe you have a mortgage, have kids are married, you may even be - gasp over 40. But what makes someone an Adult?
Despite having all the trappings of adulthood why do many of us still feel like a child?

The answer is because we have the emotional maturity of children and this powerfully effects how we are in the world.

From babyhood and onwards we are constantly told by people in authority how to behave and we largely have our decisions made for us.

The idea of challenging an authority figure for a lot of us is simply not something we would do.
We can also feel guilt or shame around sexuality and our bodies become a thing of shame or disgust instead of something manifestly beautiful.

Instead of talking about what is bothering us we often revert to rage or sulking - something small children do.
It can take a very long time, and often a whole lifetime to realise that the scripts we are following no longer applies.
What has happened in the past is firmly there and can no longer touch us.
You may have been told you were 'strong, don't cry' or a 'victim' that you were 'stupid' or 'good thing you're pretty'.
These characters names given to us as children do not need to follow us around into adulthood.

You are actually, as an adult free.
You can leave that job you hate and no one will care.
You do not need the approval of your parents or of people 'in the know', even though those 'people' don't exist. You do not have to worry about unleashing anger and getting into trouble for not being kind.

Becoming an adult means being an emotionally grown-up enough to realise someone in authority can make a mistake, you can annoy someone and still be okay, you can have sex and enjoy it, you can tell people that they have hurt you and be heard.

So start by realising that your past doesn't hold you at the maturity level of a 6-year-old, 9 years old or 12-year-old.
If you like this post let me know, I have lots of ideas and philosophy I want to share with the steem community!