Where the Frack does FEAR Come From?
This question came to mind yesterday morning...
Chilly 22 degF "real feel" as I walk to the office at 7 a.m. in Philly, USA. My mind mood is free and open, although much happening in the world, too much to ponder.
The primary query: "where does fear come from?"
My answers: real, perceived and conjured.
We know REAL fear, as our bodies are wired both instinctually and from the learned experience of our ancestors, who handed down intel over centuries of human development. For example, at some point in the past thousands of years, man learned that gravity kills, and stepping off a cliff was a lethal endeavor. Today, it's why I choose not to step off the George Washington Bridge. I KNOW I WILL DIE!
We all can recognize PERCEIVED fear. Try watching a scary movie with the sound muted...remove the music (think "Jaws") and all you see is a woman skinny dipping in the ocean at night, with a drunk dude blowing an opportunity while passed out on the shore! Add the soundtrack back into the experience, and be scared, be very scared.
Honestly, because of that movie (seen for the first time at 15 years old, a.k.a. impressionable) I have an uncomfortable nervousness when I swim in the ocean. Sometimes, the perceived fear gets me so agitated, I have to literally race out of the water before getting shredded by lots of sharp teeth.
This leads to CONJURED fear. I made up a scenario in my mind, which triggered violent imagery AND my adrenalin. I swam/ran like hell to avoid an unrealistic and violent death!
All three of these versions of fear have value. Yet I believe it takes effort and practice to distinguish between them. The human mind + our emotions are incredibly powerful, able to perform the greatest deeds and the deepest evils.
Knowing what is TRUE and REAL vs. FALSE and FAKE keeps me on the beam, most days.
Which brings me to my final thought: LOVE. "Love conquers all" is so perfectly true, when specifically applied to me, myself and I. Decades ago, I switched from fear-based thinking to Love-based believing.
And my arduous journey from one to the other was worth it.
I'd love to know your thoughts and experiences. @brittandjosie @riverflows @xcountytravelers @katrina-ariel @eaglespirit @trucklife-family @indigoocean @jaynie @byn @royalrose @galenkp @ginnyannette @hlezama @chbartist
Note: Please pardon my tags, trying to grow; if it's a bother or annoyance, please let me know!
Firstly, do not apologize for the tags. I think it is wonderful that you are stepping out of your comfort zone and taking a chance! I just loved that you included us. I honestly squealed in delight.
Scott wanted us to start our answer to you with a link to today's dtube snap https://steemit.com/dtubesnap/@xcountytravelers/z1q1z5kk . He gives his answer there.
I wanted to address this as well, but with an example. I live in a state of fear many times throughout my day; especially when we travel. I do not know where this comes from because we have had nothing more than positive experiences on our travels. However, it is horrible for Scott because he has to try to convince me not to freak out and stay safely at home.
At one point on our trip in Taos, New Mexico, the time was getting late and we still had an hour drive through the curvy mountain road to get to our hotel for the night. However, Scott insisted we go to the ski lodge deep within the Carson National Forest . The road was steep, twisty, and unknown to us. I totally freaked out and cried all the way up the mountain to the ski lodge. My stomach was in knots and my head was swirling in fear, but I knew I had to do it; I had to drive up that mountain and prove to myself it was going to be okay.
Yes, we made it safely and we saw the most amazing place. If it would not have been for Scott encouraging me, I would never have seen this place and headed straight to the hotel allowing fear to win.
Fear often comes from the unknown and it is only by doing that the unknown disappears.
What do you think @youhavewings, @maquemali, @twodorks, @juliamulcahy, @anutu, @darrenfj, @Ravijojla, @priyanarc, @zen-art, @oneofsteem, @audreybits, @blind-spot, @earthkind, @saffisara, @monchhichi23, @eveningarts
Ren
when i was a child , accidentally i burnt myself and it was a horrible experience for me. Long time i was in fear of fire. Whenever i saw fire, i used to fear but i decided to step out from it .So make myself strong , make my mind strong and finally i am out . Well, i have fear in multiple things like height, sea-water, horror movies and many more because still now i think my mind is still not prepare to step out of these..
Fear is a psychological matter i believe. thx @xcountytravelers for tagging me here... and @jimmyoblog very very well written..
Fear is a huge factor in my life. However, i try to not let it dictate whe at i do.
@priyanarc
Good morning from Philly, USA! Thanks for your message.
In the Summer of 1973 (13 yrs old), I snuck in the rear exit of a movie theatre and sat in the front row to watch "The Exorcist." This movie scared me to the core of my being!
I still can recall riding my bicycle home, completely convinced the devil was "gonna get me." First of all, because I snuck into the theatre, but mostly...just because.
I didn't sleep for 3 nights! Every sound I heard -- the windows rattling in the breeze, or a lone car driving on the street -- had me frightened to tears. And I could tell no one!
Because of that experience, I no longer watch ANY horror flicks, ever!
Now gladly following you...
Peace and smiles
She is worth following.
Ren
I think fear is healthy and it is the best tool of a brave man!
Yes, great tool if used correctly.
Yes, I agree that fear can be a VERY important tool in life.
Thanks for your message. Now following you, and I will read a few of your recent posts.
Peace and smiles
Thank you :-)
It's good to have you in the house!
Thanks for the tag @xcountytravelers.
I love the question and write up @jimmyoblog so thank you for tagging @xcountytravelers so they could tag even more 😉
For me, everything is our thinking, there’s fast thinking that keeps us safe and is intuitive, like you said, it helps you when you need to act fast as there is REAL danger. It’s why a cat will jump if they see a cucumber on the floor, as they react to the possibility it might be a snake.
Then there’s your other mode of thinking, where False Evidence Appears Real and we create stories and scare ourselves. This again is to keep us safe as this type of fear keeps us in our comfort zone, and uses past experiences to keep us inside our own safe boundaries. However, this fear can work in two ways. It can stop us from growing or it can be our projection into new things. It all depends on what you do with it.
Phobias are fears that will often stand in the way of growth but with a new way of thinking they can become what I personally term, terror-excitement, where you get the energy to start moving.
Energy is at the heart of all emotions and can become stagnant and held in the body. You can, by a number of different approaches, work with your energy to move it and free it. I like your method, Love-based believing, because it works for you, and so very likely would work for many others, if not everyone.
I have made a study of the question you asked and so have learnt many methods, NLP, EFT, Matrix Reprogramming, active listening, coaching, aspects of spirituality and the 3 Principles.
From your chosen method I think you might like Matt Kahn’s YouTube channel.
And if not, oh well, I got to share some cat videos, so I’m good. 😉
@juliamulcahy
Hello and good morning!
Thanks so much for your perspective; I can't say I disagree with a single syllable!
Energy, Connectivity, Soul, Source, Alignment, Discernment, Authenticity...all of these terms come to mind as I ponder the results of "doing the work."
And in doing the work, my fear-based thinking dissipated into love-based believing. My system of living, being, doing is so much broader and deeper, now that the limits (socio-culturally introduced / embedded) have been removed.
I consider most of my fears to be of the healthy sort, although I continue to avoid horror flicks (see my reply to @priyanarc :-)
Now following you, which I expect will be fruitful and engaging.
Peace and smiles
Following you too, @jimmyoblog, you seem to know where you’re going but then again, if you’re following me, we might end up going round in circles. 😀❤️😀
Eyes wide open, fingers at the ready. We read, we learn, we write, we post.
This way, I believe we grow.
So, let's have at it!
Let’s have it, indeed.
I just love those videos. It always amaze me at how they react.
Ren
Hehehe, me too, apart from feeling for the poor terror stricken kitties 🐱 x
Hola Ren!
I so appreciate your message and post; you provide a perfect example of how fear can impact one's day, intimidate decision-making and churn up the physical body in not-so-healthy ways. I wonder if that's one of the major reasons that OTC stomach acid medicine is so popular (ya, commercials blame it on spicy foods & hot dogs, but...)
I'm also glad for your partner pushing you beyond "fear in the moment." Most times, in my experience, we survive unrealized fears and arrive into beauty, whether in nature (like Carson National Forest) or in internal peace.
Travel on!
Yeah, there are so many other stories, but this one was one with the best outcome. Fear would keep locked up in the house, but Scott pushes me to get out and live life outside my box. It is so appreciated because I have seen so many wonderful things.
Thanks for a great post topic. Can't wait to see more.
Ren
Everyone fears something, multiple things really. It might be the fear of dying, the fear of loss, fear of failure, of social standing etc. It's a normal emotion. Still, fear does not have to immobilise our actions all the time.
Think about the kid who burns himself on a hot stove. He fears doing so again because it hurt, but he may still become a chef. Or the operator who fears not returning home from war to his loved ones. He still does his job though, putting the fear aside, or at least drawing from it for focus, intensity and effort.
I think the worst fear is the one that stops a person from moving forward, stops them from trying. That's the most common. You know, I won't go for that promotion at work because what if I don't get it? How will I look, or what would that do to my confidence level?
It is that fear I have worked hard to eliminate from my life. The fear of failure. It has no place in my life any longer.
I was only talking with @honeydue a little while ago about vlogs. She got back to doing one and posting it and I said how I hated my voice and so wouldn't do one...But in reality is my reluctance due to a fear of it bombing out? Yes. The fear of failure. And so I'm going to do one, to put myself out there and overcome that fear. A simple example of course but a relevant one.
As you say, identifying the different types of fear (their benefits and negatives) and heir relevance in our lives is a key factor.
Love: Well, As someone who is completely in love with my wife it's a feeling I'm comfortable with. It doesn't conquer everything in my life although is the reason I push so hard in other areas; Push hard to be the best version of myself that I can be and to live my best life. Love can be basic and also very complicated I think. It's different for all, and yet the same.
Thanks for tagging me. I'll take a look at your blog in the next couple of days and see what I find. I'll give you a follow initially and hope to see some more great posts like this one.
Appreciate your beautiful and thorough response. Exactly as I intended, to free up discussion about a topic not nearly discussed enough...
I often come up against other people's trepidations, and I always wonder, how did that person arrive at such a limitation? In most instances, these fears have EVERYTHING to do with failure. Risk-taking is not safe! Too often the solution is to stay stuck, or stay miserable, or both!
The work I undertook to free my mind (and more importantly, my heart) is an effort available to everyone, yet it's the minority who choose this path.
I feel fortunate and commit to keep going! It's been a heck of a ride to here!
Thanks for your follow!
Peace and smiles
Personal change is very difficult. It takes responsibility, ownership, persistence and effort as you seem to be aware. It's rewarding though. Whether it's opening up ones' paradigms, gaining self-awareness or just forming good, or breaking bad, habits...It's tough, but a worthwhile effort.
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You really spoke to me here! First of all living in fear for a long time myself and then turning it around was a huge step in my human life. The shark hits home since I’m terrified of them and then leaving nature and fossils in its place. Thank you for this great write up 💜
Hola and muchos gracias!
Your message means a lot to me. Ditto on "the turn around." Huge, incredible step FORWARD. When I reminisce the JimmyO of years yore -- especially my teens, 20s, early 30s -- I cringe, or more rightly I'm saddened by that version of me. Yet, I keep regret at bay and recognize the effort & pain to shed old skins.
Today, I'm humbly prideful (yes, it's possible to stand in both) of my journey to authenticity. I LOVE me today. And that took some work!!
The second photo is from Makoshika State Park, Glendive, MT. taken while on a grateful stroll in November 2013.
Peace and smiles
I think that whatever helps us enjoy longer, happier lives is what we're after. So when "fear" is caution, that's good. When fear is avoiding diverse experiences, it's bad. Finding the balance between wise caution and wise freedom takes life experience.
I would rather not be tagged, btw. If everyone I follow tagged me on their posts I would have constant notifications going off!
Experiential learning has always been my most meaningful. Not to minimize fiction, history, newspapers, etc., but genuine impact, and memory bank storage, more readily occurs when engaged in LIFE.
Thanks for feedback!