I am not sure there's such a clear answer to that important question. I am under the impression that there's a lot of gut feeling to get in touch with ourselves. I think that we sometimes forget to listen to that small inner dialog that says that we are on the wrong/right path. As for the family building, I think that the question is direly more important. Teaching things to kids is quite a revelation on ourselves and they can smell the wrong behing our crappy answers (and they will tell you right in your face). For me, having kids is not an end. Just accelerates the questionning!