Becoming a master procrastinator
To become a master in the art of procrastination you simple have to follow these few steps, It might sound hard but trust me, it's easier than you think.
Focus entirely on the micro level, and for the love of god do not create larger long term goals to aim for. (you might just reach them, scary right?)
Focus on obstacles you might encounter in the future and dwell on them until you find the perfect solution. Do not under any circumstance take action in the moment, doing silly things within your physical capabilities that could improve your future, STAY IN YOUR MIND!
You should become a perfectionist and assure yourself that this is because you are special and have very high standards. This ensures that if you actually did something it would be perfect, and if it's not perfect it is not worth your time.
The timing has to be right, even if you are offered a perfect solution to a problem you should dismiss it if you don't feel the timing is right, which you (if you are serious about becoming a master procastinator) hopefully never will feel.
Now you just have to repeat steps 1-4 and you will be set for a long life filled with regret. If you feel the need to blame anyone for the circumstances you find yourself in just blame external forces, trust me, it's very easy.
Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day filled with apathy and regret.
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