Humans have limited capacity to give a damn
In this exciting age of social media, everyone tends to think that what they have to say is important. It usually is not. But one of the things which are getting more prominent is the need to, as they say, and for which they that is I leave it to the reader, signal the appropriate feeling in all sorts of circumstances, tragedy being one of them. I honestly don’t buy it.
Most libertarians get accused of lack of empathy and compassion. This is, as I’ve said before, wrong. Most libertarians – there are exceptions as always –feel their share of feelings, compassion among them. The accuser is allegedly more compassionate, because they signal it more often and, if left-wing, equate that compassion with more government. The response I don’t think big government is the solution does not register with them and is taken by default as lack of care. This is, in my view, a form of outsourced compassion, you vote once in a while, you make a big post on Facebook or Twitter, and that makes you compassionate. If you are honest that you cannot care about every damn thing, that raises eyebrows.
I think compassion and empathy to other human beings is overall good, although can be badly applied. I think one can have a vague, generic empathy and compassion for mankind as a whole and want the world to be a better place. I also think one cannot truly care about everything and everyone, and it is a big world out there. But claiming to care is oh so easy, especially when this requires little effort. It is exceedingly simple to declare to feel bad about something, but do nothing about it. And posting on Facebook is akin to doing nothing.
Now compassion, real compassion, true empathy, caring about others is not that easy. It takes time and work and real involvement, it can drain one emotionally. It can be tough. Writing on The Internet is easy. You will see comments about tragedies far away from the writer. Africa, Syria, whatever.
If people are honest with themselves, they don’t really give a crap about all that. The really don’t, harsh as that may sound. Not in the true sense of the word. Because their capacity to do so is quite limited, having evolved in small bands and living, for the most part, in defined communities. Even a largest city, most people passing you on the street mean little to you. You have friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, maybe regulars at your favorite café. But that is about it. Beyond that,* you don’t give a shit*. Not in the true sense of it.
This is not a matter of whether it’s good or bad not to care about everyone. It is a simple statement of fact. You do not, you cannot. The amount of caring one can do is a scarce resource and can be depleted if not rationed correctly. The burden of the world does not rest on one’s individual shoulders and that is a good thing, because one could not bear it.
Most people do feel a vague sense of sorrow when tragedies happen to unknown people, but get over it quite fast. Life continues. But if a loved one dies, partner, parent, child, sibling, well that is where true sorrow comes in. And it does not go away easy, if ever. No war killing thousands of children on another continent will give the same feelings. One parent or sibling death hurts more than 1000 drug deaths in the poor part of the big city you live in.
And the further away, the less you give a shit. There was a fire in a club in Bucharest a few years ago that burned some people alive. A lot of people in Bucharest felt bad. There were terrorist attacks in Paris and Brussels and London and people maybe did feel sorry, but not as much as in their city, certainly not as much as if they knew a victim. They off course appropriately signaled it on social media, putting French flags on profiles and such meaningless actions.
When there were terrorist attacks in say Nigeria, few Europeans overall had any reaction. Some people even accused racism: Why France or Belgium and not Nigeria? The resources for giving a crap are limited and people in Europe can empathize more with Paris than Lagos. For Europeans it’s a place they may visit themselves, they may have friends living there. I can picture myself in Brussels airport, not in Lagos. It is that simple. I do not have the capacity to equally feel sorry for the world. And that is fine.
All this random signalling is mostly an affectation, a luxury, and usually one for well off people, feeling sorry for the world, or more accurately pretending to. The poor, the sick, have other, more pressing, worries. Feeling sorry about distant strangers and telling everyone you do is not high on the list.
How did the old saying go? Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know socially signal everything so everyone around me knows.
Also, stop checking into places all the damn time. No one cares.
what a post? Truly amazing
Yes, I absolutely agree. You nailed it.
I did a talk about it 1 month ago and described how something hits the social media channels really hard but goes away as fast as it appears. My example was from Syria, too. The little boy in the red t-shirt lying dead on the beach. Remember?
It was probably the most viral picture at that time. Everybody seems to care... everyone was complaining etc.
1 day later it was gone.... out of our heads.... minds.... and social media.
Care isn't an absolute, but relative and in degrees. To care for something doesn't necessitate a physical action to alleviate pain or suffering in that far remote area. The degree of care will drive and motivate behavior, such as acting in our local environment that directly affects us. The circle of care and compassion we have extends from ourselves, our self-care and self-interest, self-centeredness, etc.
We can care about others well-being despite not being able to do much about it, like the Pray of Serenity implies. But sometimes we can do something about it. Sometimes we can change our own behavior and have an effect. And if more people change their behavior it has an even greater effect. I find that you're framing this too strictly towards absolutes by relegating things that we don't act to resolve as being something we "don’t give a shit" about. I don't agree with what you say, but understand what you're trying to say. The degree to which we identify with others and develop attachments towards as a result, is based on the degree of interaction with them to form relational bonds. we feel more for the suffering of those close to us than others further due to this identification/attachment level from interaction, but that doesn't negate feeling or caring for others elsewhere.
Well yes, I do agree that you can care about people in general, I said as much, but to a limited level. And to be blunt for most it is very limited. How many do you think truly care about conflict on the other side of the planet? In the sens that it affects them in their daily lives in a measurable way?
Yes people care some, I said as much, but many broadcast a lot more pretend care then actual care, imo
recommended reading: https://markmanson.net/not-giving-a-fuck
There's also a book, really good. Go get it.
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