The souls purpose

I have reached the brink of society. I am at the cutting edge point where my soul sits at the line of equilibrium questioning life and it's many Devine purposes. Half of me sees a life destined for happiness, fulfilment and never ending growth and endulging into the endless depths of spirituality. This half wants to move overseas to a first world country and truly live life abundant of happiness whilst abandoning society's ways and modern technology.
Yet the other half of me is pulling me away, making my soul feel more attached to my body. Wanting that -stereotypical luxurious life of endless instagram followers and fame. This half of me craves attention and gets ego boosts off of each like an unrealistic photo gets. It wants a life liven behind a screen where memories are captured behind a camera rather than behind the raw human eye. It wants a career derived from a job rather than a career blossomed from the soul. Expensive cars and over priced houses. Each layer of expensive clothing is one layer thickening over my soul.
My mind is at war with itself. Do I choose my body or my soul. Most awakened people's answers would instantly lead them to soul. But then I question life itself and ask.. why do I have this body. I am a soul, yet I chose to have this human experience in this body in particular. I hear my soul speaking wanting the simplest of lives. Yet my body speaks louder and tells me to experience this high life of fame and loving myself perhaps a little too much.
Did I come to this world to have this experience. Or is it just another trap that my mind has become enslaved too. As I meditate on the matter it leads me to more and more confusion.
So I sit here, on this line of equilbrium living the best of both worlds. And I come to the realisation that I am content. Living the best of both worlds exploring the depths of both lives is all the great divinity could ask for. We have come to this earth and this body in particular for an experience for personal growth. We aren't restricted to focusing on one rather than the other. So why not focus on both. Life is about balance. Happy, sad. Strong, weak. Grateful, ungrateful. Black, white. Ying and yang
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