Expanding the WIN/LOSE dilemma.
Many times in our lives we think that we stuck in situations that have very limited options.
For example, win/lose situations. What will I win or what will I lose if I do X?
Limited options is a state of mind. We think that we have only two possible paths, but when we see it better and change our mentality we will realize that there are more ways to see things in our lives.
Let’s say I want to do something. Maybe it is a business/career thing, maybe a relationship/personal decision. Most of the people will start to think advantages and disadvantages or in other words what will they win or what will they lose. But, are these two the only options available? See that chart below.
Actually, there are four ways to see things. Some call it tetralemma, instead of the regular dilemma. There could be cases that we miss important aspects by not going through all these four quadrants. This may cause anxiety and uncertainty over a decision or it could lead to a decision that it is not in accordance with core values of the person.
Let’s say for example that one wants to lose weight. If he does lose weight he wins health, if he doesn’t lose weight he will miss on some nice clothes. This fellow only covered two quadrants ( 1 and 3 ). Now he goes through the remaining two. What will he lose if he loses weight and what will he win if he doesn’t lose weight? If he realizes that with weight loss might come friend loss and if he doesn’t lose weight he will continue on a certain lifestyle that finds it very pleasurable, then he may rethink his decision to lose weight or rethink his strategy, because it will be way harder than he initially has thought.
Some might think that we just play with words and I will agree. Being an NLP Master Practitioner I have studied how language affects our thought process and actions and I have verified how a small change in words can change the world in humans. So don't underestimate a small ( or big ) play on words. This technique was inspired by Cartesian Coordinates and it is part of the chapter of quantum linguistics. It could be sometimes little tricky to find the right wording of each quadrant, but when you find it, then you will shed light on possibilities or choices that you may not have thought otherwise.
And in the end, one can try it and see how it goes. As we say in NLP ( and many others say it as well, it is not exclusive to NLP ) no failure, only feedback.
So, if you have important decisions to make, use this chart and hopefully, you will reach a better decision. A decision that explored more choices and a decision that checked with your inner values and goals.
Be Healthy, Smile and Steem On!!!
Interesting as I have never looked at this before or considered a "tetralemma" way of solving an issue.
I can see that moving from the traditional pro and cons list to this may assist in better/easier decision making.
Thanks for sharing!
Glad that you found it useful. :)
In full honesty, I do not understand these quadrants. Are you saying that at the moment of making the decision I should ask myself these four questions?
Who is the main exponent of this quadrant you propose?
Exactly, you ask the questions and write the answers.
I'll have to try this out at some point when I have to make a tough decision.
Thanks for sharing, Ilias.
If you want any help, just reach out .
There is no “is this the right way or not“, if you choose your way and you're wrong, there is minimum one thing that you have learned from the failure😉
I would totally agree.
@iliasdiamantis A meaningful post, I am very inspired by the contents of your post about how to see something
thank you :)
Usualy I do it in the way you mentioned but Im getting crazy if in the end I stuck again!!!
Maybe, my today's post will help then.
Thank you for the chart chart because it is very motivated upon your post after I read and think it is true of everything you have written, very good brother @iliasdiamantis
Thank you for dropping by, reading and properly commenting on the post . :)
I absolutely agree with you that our speech has a great influence on our life. We, sometimes, without noticing our own words, create programs. For example,
2.A person constantly uses the phrase "you take out my brain". Over time, he had to discover a brain tumor. Thus, we see that it is necessary to get rid of the words "parasites" and try to direct their thoughts only to a positive channel. A person who thinks: "I can not, or I'm not worthy!" - will have what he thinks about!
You're right. Sometimes our body knows and our unconscious mind knows.
And yes we have to get rid of these poisoning thoughts that contain limiting beliefs.
Instead of saying "I can't" you can say "I can't yet" or even better "How can I ?"
Yes exactly!
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