"Allowing people inside your life is a beautiful thing. Letting go of people who drain your spirit is another beautiful thing you can do for your life. The key to being happy is knowing you have the power to choose what to accept and what to let go."
Hi, Mind Miners!
In this contemporary world that we live in, we have many unnecessary things in our life. So many distractions every single day and most of the time, the things that we don't value are the most important ones. The most important things are being neglected, but we put so much of our time and effort worrying about the things that do not matter in life.
Why is that? Is it because most of the time we are living on an autopilot, that we are having a hard time identifying which things are unnecessary and which things really matter in life? Or is it because we are too focused on the material gains that we accumulate over time?
What are the things that do not matter in life, that if we learn to let go of those things, our life would become lighter and easier to live?
4 THINGS THAT DO NOT MATTER IN LIFE
FAKE FRIENDS
"I cut people off with no hesitation, no explanation, and no warning. Your friendship card will be revoked if you do some phoney stuff or I feel you can't be trusted. Life is too short and I am getting old to be dealing with people who haven't grasped the concept of loyalty."
Yes, fake friends! Who need fake friends? Why should they matter to us? A fake friend can do so much damage than a dozen of enemies. They pretend to care but the truth is, they don't! They are there not to help you but to ruin you. Surprisingly, not all people can identify which of their friend is genuine and which one is not.
So how can we identify which is genuine and which is not? Simple. A genuine is not afraid to tell you what you may not want to hear. Fake only tells you what you wanna hear. Genuine always there when you need them. Fake are only there when they need you. Genuine are happy seeing you happy. Fake hate seeing you happy and they are not. Genuine friend believes in you. Fake friends believe in a rumor. It's a long list but I will end the list here. You can do further research after reading this whole post.
TOXIC PEOPLE
"You don't ever have to feel guilty about REMOVING TOXIC PEOPLE FROM YOUR LIFE. It doesn't matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, employer, a childhood friend, or a new acquaintance - you don't have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It's one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries and 'continue' to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go."
According to Shannon Thomas, toxic people project their own character defects onto their victims. They do this by accusing the victim of the exact action they themselves do but deny.
Everyone of us do encounter this kind of people in many forms. It can be a friend, relative, a family member, a lover, or even a stranger. They are the kind of people that love to manipulate others, emotionally or psychologically. They will use people to their own advantage. It's not about us, or you. It's about I.
Toxic people are quick to judge and criticize others. They don't know how to apologize for their behavior or the things that they did wrong. Try to confront them and they will do everything to turn things around. In the end, you're at fault and not them.
If you have this kind of people in your life who makes you feel small, unworthy, and cause you pain. If people will not respect your boundaries and continues to abuse you physically, emotionally or psychologically, then you need to walk away from them.
NAYSAYERS
"You are only going to be as good as people you surround yourself with so be brave enough to let go of those people who keep weighing you down."
We are not immortals so we must stop and we need not waste our time living our lives based on other people's opinion or expectations. We must not allow other people's voice to be louder than our own voice. What our mind need is our own voice. We need to have that courage to follow what it is that we truly want. That's where our energy and focus should be. Let go and neglect those people who are trying to stop you from achieving your own goals in life.
When you decide to get out of your comfort zone to start following your desired path, somewhere, somehow, naysayers will always there to watch your every move and pull you down as much as they can. They will question your goals and when they cannot see physical results, they will start dictating you on what you should do with your life.
Seeing untangible improvement on a person does not mean that they are still the same person as they are before and they are not doing anything. Because based on experience, a person's progress may not be easily seen by the naked eye. So if there are many naysayers in your life, be brave enough to let go. You don't need such a person in your life. Let go of the naysayers and always surround yourself with people that help you grow and people that give you 100% support on your dreams.
SELF-PITY
"Self-pity is easily the most destructive of non-pharmaceutical narcotics. It is addictive. Gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality."
Each and every one of us experience pain, trials, and difficulties. But each of us has unique ways of dealing with those things. Others are very resilient while others are having a hard time dealing with their own problems because instead of accepting what happens and finding solutions, most of us do deny that happens and instead of finding a solution we always think of our problems. We easily gave into our emotions, we let our emotions control us rather than we controlling our emotions. We just can't accept the help that other people are doing. We think that we have the biggest problem in the world.
It's okay to spend the whole day crying about the things that upset or hurts you but after that, you need to let those negative feelings go. Playing a victim won't help. If we are doing this to our self then we need to learn how to improve ourselves for the better, and if you have this kind of person in your circle you need to start helping them. If they are not willing to change then let them go.
Just imagine the kind of life that we have if we remove these four things that do not matter in life. How happier and peaceful can we become?
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I think crying whole day is a bit of a waste of time. I think an hour would suffice, and then you have to move on. Wallowing in self pity for a day makes your heart grow heavier and it is not healthy emotionally and physically.
Yeap! I Agree, the longer it stays the heavier it gets but people are unique. We don't have the same coping mechanism so I stretched it for a day so others maybe able to relate.
I can do 30minutes or less but depending on the situation. Writing it down is very therapeutic. It can heal you faster than anything. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Really appreciate it.😊
No you can't do it in 30 minutes. Hello! I'm your sister so I know that you do it longer. Hahahahaha
Yes, you are but you are not around every time I'm broken. Same as I cannot assume that you are still the same person as you were before for people's philosophies, perceptions, and all can change in a matter of days. Especially if you are the type of person who travels a lot or if you are too focused on changing yourself.
I am your younger sister yet I don't know your every struggle and how much effort you put in developing yourself. Struggles, difficulties, pain, failures, mistakes, and even self growth can change you in a snap of a finger. Not consistently, but it can. There are changes in people that we cannot see in our naked eyes alone. And it's harder to see if we are too focused of who he or she was before or if we have set of expectations that these are the qualities this person has.
We might not even noticed the changes that our partner have or the changes our family members have even if we stayed with them in the same house every single day.
The only thing that is constant in this world is change. We cannot easily noticed the changes in people around us. We may have ideas but not as in-depth as they can. There are also people who are not able to understand their own changes. They think that they are the same person even if they're not.
People change a little each day, yes that's true. If a person does not observe, they will never notice any change. But for someone who does observe, they notice. It's amazing how people think of themselves as someone else when in reality they are basically just them.
Well, every person see things in different angle😉.
Thank you very much for sharing inspiring content.
Thanks
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Thankyou😊
Nice use of the crab there!^ I can relate most to that. :D
😂 thanks @dean101
Thanks for sharing your view! I have to agree with all 4, especially toxic people who tries to belittle you and putting you down.
Reminds me of a great quote by Mark Twain: Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great
@mjctraining thankyou. Thanks for the quote as well. I love it!
Did read your comment the moment you posted it here and on facebook but I was so sleepy at that time that I no longer capable of creating a sentence and to be honest, I was not able to comprehend your comment. Sorry.
I'm checking your blog posts because I did learn something from your comment. Talk soon
nice sharing good psot i like it i Follow you please vote me thank you so much i need your help ..
Thanks
Hi iamrosallie! :) that's some good advice there. i especially liked the crab pic! :P for me, a real easy way to see my 'real' friends was when i was in the hospital after a car accident.. who came to visit me and then was there for me while i was recovering.
Hello, @chinito! Thanks. I like the crab pic too that's why I decided to include it in my post.
Yes. Agree. We can only know who are true friends during difficult times.
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Oh thanks