Not giving a fuck Vs. Giving too many fucks
You cannot be alive without giving a few fucks here and there. You care about eating when you’re hungry, sleeping when you’re tired, you care about the people you love and the job that pays your bills. But some people care about the so-called bad weather, they have big expectations for the next holiday season, what people think, how they look, they care so much that they’re stuck in their heads and immobilized with fear and anxiety.
I only have one tattoo on my body, and it says “NOTHING REALLY MATTERS.” I got the tattoo when I was in a paticularly dark place in my life and that idea saved me. I wanted to be the kind of person who is indifferent, content with what life gives him. Not that ass hole who lives a miserable life and is too comfortable to change. But someone who will work, who will struggle, but enjoy himself along the way.
What “matters” is subjective, and different for everyone. We all just need to figure out our own balance. Sober people will drink because “who gives a fuck anyway?” Vegans will eat meat again, people will cheat or have affairs the list could go on. Its the balance between never taking advice from a friend and jumping off a bridge if they said it was a good idea.
So where can we find this balance? Use your heart as your guidance system and stop thinking about yourself all the time.
1--Follow your heart.
Your heart will guide you to make the right decisions. Problem is, some people have weak hearts, and strong egos. Practice meditation to build up your heart energy and silence the ego. I strongly suggest looking into ego and becoming aware that this part of you has its own balance as well, and in the society we live in, we are extremely off balance and ego driven. Once your heart is running the show, you’ll see clearly what is serving you and what isn’t. I quit drinking coffee and alcohol out of nowhere, and it was so easy! Because my ego had no say in the matter. I’m aware that “nothing really matters” anyway, but I’m not going to go get smashed on Easter weekend. Balance. Just like I’m not going to avoid every bar, restaurant or person who may have alcohol. Balance.
2--Be a little less selfish
This part is especially difficult for the ego. You might even read this but only do step 1 because you don’t see the value in step 2. Realize that there is a balance between your selfishness and selflessness. Some people care too much about themselves, others care too much about others. When you meet in the middle, life becomes such a gift. You are taken care of, you take care of others and in turn, when you need it most, they will take care you. Fancy way of saying scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours. I’ve seen people who are giving this “how to not give a fuck” a try and they are total dicks. Nobody wants to be around them and they will end up alone. But I know people who care so much about everyone else that they are in rough shape themselves. You can’t help poor people of you’re one of them. Worst of all, everyone else’s pain, was their pain. That was me, and it was really tough to finally let go of their pain. Help as much I can, but let go. Once I created a balance for myself in this area, life has been smooth sailing. Not boring! But not stressful either.
I really hope this helped. Getting into this life style, this recurring theme of balance always puzzled me. But once you follow your heart and take other people into consideration, you so find your balance.
Cameron Dube, HUMBOWL
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