How the Mirror Can be Your Friend - A Lesson in Self Love
You may have heard the expression "Fake It 'Til You Make It". Please bear with me on this one...
This phrase is usually used in context with the business world. The theory behind it being that if you walk, talk and look like the successful person you'd like to be, people will treat you like that person and trust you with their business and projects. Then at some point you realise that you are not pretending anymore, but are actually successful - you have made it.
I know a lot of people find this a bit phony, but it is not as 'fake' and 'flakey' as it sounds.
By faking it until you make it you are modelling types of behaviour until they become part of you - they become internalized. When the behaviours are internalized, they become a habit and you start to see success.
So how does this relate to self love?
Well, this works in a whole lot of different circumstances. For example, if you wanted to be slimmer and fitter, you could start acting like you already are and you will start to make healthier diet and lifestyle choices and within a few months, you will look in the mirror and see that you are actually slimmer and fitter. (I know, I know a lot of will power needed here and focus, but it can be done - you can do it).
In the same way, this fake it until you make it actually works with feelings too.
You can actually fake self worth, well being and feelings of happiness until your mood improves.
And it is a lot easier than you might think.
You can start with smiling, just smiling.
Even a fake smile would work to start the process.
Look in that mirror and smile. watch the corners of your mouth turn up.
Are your eyes smiling too?
Try to make them.
Try you very best to give you biggest and best smile, even if you don't feel like it.
What do you see when you look at yourself? Smile back at them, they need a smile ;)
After doing this for a little while your mood should pick up. Make a mental note to smile more during the day for the best results, even if it means carrying around a compact (guys, you can use a shop window).
When you are ready to step it up a notch, give laughing a try, even just a giggle, even if there is nothing funny going on. (If you really need to, you look up some funnies on YouTube to start you off.) The mirror again is quite useful here, as smiles and laughter is contagious, even if its just seeing yourself laugh.
Just these simple actions can make our day happier.
I like to take it a notch further (when I'm completely alone) and roll around on the floor laughing, even if its fake to start of with. It does actually work. Please do try it!
Laughing has also been proven to increase your immune system, so lol a lot, Hugg's orders!
One last mirror tactic I like to use is to sing along to a spectacular song, and look myself in the eyes and believe it when I belt out this chorus:
I love my life
I am powerful
I am beautiful
I am free
I love my life
I am wonderful
I am magical
I am me
I love my life
(And the odd daydream about what would have happened if I had got my hands first on Robbie Williams might occur now and again)
Here is his amazing song, that is great to listening to first thing in the morning to brighten the day.
Source Lyrics and Video: Robbie William I love My Life
There might be a bare bottom on the video after that one on Youtube (as it looks like Robbie Williams is climbing a tree naked for some reason), thought I'd better warn you...
If you want a chat, I have my own room on Slack, within the Ecotrain.
👍ich rede auch mit meinem Spiegelbild😊
Such a great post and it was so my-stye-of-writing too. Loved it and yes I completely agree with the fake until you make it thingy. When I feel frustrated, just smiling for no reason and it takes it about 5 minutes to work its magic but eventually, I end up feeling just fine. Also, believing you have achieved something makes you take positive action towards that goal. When you keep telling yourself you are there or feel a certain way, you activate the reticular activating system in your brain to accept that information as an important one and it then makes you focus on everything related to it. So if you say I am slim over and over again, you will find yourself coming across great weight loss regimens.
I have a little sign in my kitchen that says, "Happy is what you make it, always has been, always will be." It helps me remember that I choose what makes me happy. If I get depressed or mad because I live in Panama and things are super slow and I miss my family, then whose fault is that but my own. So I can choose to be happy about living in this amazing place with adventures and rain every day and 5 crazy kids. Anyway, when I read your post, I thought about that. Thanks for sharing!! :) Have a good one!
These techniques are great. I am already using some of them and will explore the others. I have been known to laugh like a crazy woman in my car to ease stress.
I do love this point u related with ur examples but when it comes to a fat person trying to keep fit, is an entirely different process except u wanna break all the mirrors in ur house. 😂
I'm really enjoying your posts! A smile is free to give and priceless to the one who needed it. 😃
even if its yourself :)
This is so true and does work! It ties into something i know called the lost mode of prayer, in a book by gregg braden. Definately worth googling that if u didnt hear of it. Its all about feeling the feeling of then result you are looking for having already happened.. great post @hopehuggs !
I love this! Fake it till you make it has been a life motto of sorts for me off and on. I first learned it in teen Al-Anon. It really helped me out of my depression this summer. Smiling in a mirror really helps! My friend does laughter yoga and I've been wanting to try that too! Thanks for this!
Self love is so important. You truly cannot love someone, unless you know how to love yourself first.
I was in the military, US Army, and they used similar techniques to build confidence and I do think it works. Thanks for the post.