Impossible to reject

Kindness of a friend makes me happy. Sometimes I feel guilty on being care for since I don't have much to give in return.

I kept working on my little crochet bussiness but it has been slowing down a bit for now sinve I am busy completing my office unfinished task. I need to complete everything by the end of this week.

Since the bussiness is a bit down, I am gateful. for this friend that always buy me food and help me with few more things that I needed. I don't know the reason for me to deserve those kindness and it felt a bit scary.

Scared of losing this friend, scared of being too dependant.

I have been living without my husband for more than a year now and this friend remind me a lot of my husband. My husband used to be as kind as this friend and yet he lose it all to his selfish desire.

I still think that it is all because of my incompetent, weakness and imperfections as his wife. If I was a good wife, perhaps he did not chose the road he is on right now.

Coming back to the friend I am saying at the beginning, I thought this friend had stop being too kind when I asked for and yet, yesterday I got a lunch again. I was planning to do some intermittent fasting while I do not have much budgjet to spend on extra food but then God does not seem to allowed it since God gave me this wonderful friend.

Thinking back as I am writing this blog. It must be for a reason. What will the reason be? I guess I just need to keep living to find the answer someday.