A Dad's Purpose
What is my purpose as a father?
I have written many times about how much my 10 year old daughter MJ prefers my wife to me. In fact, it has become a running joke with my friends that my daughter simply doesn't like me. Every once in a a while a friend will jokingly ask, "So does your daughter like you yet?"
I always respond, "Nope. I'm just biding my time until she becomes a teenager and hates her mom."
Both of these are merely exaggerations and jokes. My daughter loves me and I am convinced she will always love my wife (although from what I hear, teenagers' moods and tastes may change with the wind).
She simply loves her mommy more. That is completely understandable.
This reality has caused me to question this dad's purpose at times. On our recent vacation, it seemed my roles were the unheralded ones of planning the entire trip, driving, carrying things, holding things while people were in the bathroom, and running around like an idiot to get tickets for any last minute attractions.
You could basically hire a nameless assistant to do all of those things (or a monkey... a really smart money).
But then something amazing happened.
While visiting Niagara Falls, we took a ride on the Hornblower. This boat takes passengers as close to the falls as possible. In fact, you get so close that it feels like you are in the middle of a torrential storm. (Buying tickets for the ride also involves a dad walking 2 miles uphill both ways in order to get them).
My daughter thought those rocks fell a few minutes before we arrived.
I'm a city boy at heart but the sheer power of the Falls and our incredibly close proximity to them were awe inspiring. For a ten year old girl... this was also terrifying.
During the wait for the boat, we heard that the force of the water was so powerful that it had caused huge boulders to break off from the cliff. Clearly this had happened many years ago... but to a 10 year old, this meant more boulders could break off at any second. (If MJ is reading this, the boulders will not suddenly break off.)
By the time the boat began making its very slow way toward the falls, MJ was incredibly frightened. A few moments later as we were close enough to feel a significant spray from the Falls and 99% of the passengers gasped in awe of the Natural Wonder, one passenger hid her face in fear.
As she trembled, MJ thrust her tiny hand toward me, looked up at me and said, "Dad, I'm scared, hold my hand."
I did.
For some unknown reason, she felt better.
I wish I were a better photographer. I set up and snapped this one handed because no matter what, I was NOT letting go of that tiny hand.
I had found my purpose.
I was put here on this earth to convince a scared little 10 year old girl that I had the power to stop 6 million cubic feet of water from doing any harm to her.
At that moment... I am convinced I could have.
The pictures and GIF from Niagara Falls were taken by me. I am no photographer.
Well written...Love this
Thanks!
We dream of having this purpose in our life, sometimes we get really depressed that we have been so unsuccessful at it. lol
And then... we get our moment!
I loved this article brother, seriously. Deepest of respects
Thanks man. I really enjoyed writing it.
after reading your article , i must say you are not alone . It happens with every dad in the world...no matter what dad is doing for their children. But in human nature i believe children are automatically attached with mother.....its nature....So things will change when urs and mine children grown up...then they started to think and can develop their mind whats their dad is doing for their children happiness.
I agree. I am very happy my kids have such a deep bond with their mom. She's a wonderful woman.
Dad's are the last line of defense.
I like that! I may steal that one. LOL
Such a sweet story! Kids always feel very attached to their mothers and this is i guess some human instinct we have but the father is the parent that is respected for being strong, the protector around whom your kiddo will always feel safe. They might express it differently but it is the same love they have towards both of you! Wish you a lot more moments like this one and trust me your daughter doesn't dislike you! :)
Looking at myself, I was more attached to my dad when I was young. He really was my role-model and I wanted to be like him. I many ways I am, I recognize a lot of his quirks and personality in my own behaviour. But from adulthood on, I don't really favour any of my parents compared to the other anymore. I love them bot equally and really dread the day that I will have to go on without them.
So although as I child, you may favour one of your parents, I think that will cancel out eventually. At least for me, it did.
Sure it does. They are both valuable and have a big part in creating the person we grow up to be. My situation is a bit different because my parents separated when i was 6 but i still love them both and they have both given me and continue to give me valueble lessons and advice. :)
I'm just happy they like either of us! LOL
I hope you are able to tell them that. I bet it would make their day!
Well they do know and i should probably tell them more often and be thankful! And ofcourse they like both of you, you sound like an awesome dad.. you must really do something stupid to make your toddler mistrust you :). And it is always nice to have an inside joke like that in the bag with the good old friends.
Thanks! Yeah I know. It has actually become a little inside joke with us now.
Nice read brother. I'm a father as well and I know how that can be at times. Often times this happens by default cause the mother be the ones to say yes and fathers are the bad guys cause they mainly say no. In my house I'm known as Captain No because most times that's my answer. When it comes time to discipline the kids, we are the first to be called for the job. I think this gives the mothers that extra edge cause the father does all the discipline.
This is so pleasant to read. A father and his purpose. I must say that most of the daughters say that they love their mother more (I do, too.) but really deep inside their heart, they know that if anything happens to them, their father is the one who is going to save them from any disaster. A father is the true hero for his daughter. You are too.
That is very kind of you to say. I bet your dad knows it.
I hope he knows it. :)
Although I never had the courage to tell him that I admire him so much. It has never been a chance that I tell him that he is my only true hero. But you know what? I truly feel that he knows it. I know that he knows it. Now, he has set up really high standards for my boy and I'm so happy about it. :)
LOL. Yeah it is a definite team effort. Nothing wrong with a little "good cop/bad cop" lol.
Dad is after all Dad, but without him the world in incomplete, nice work by the way @hanshotfirst
here is my favorite quote for parents
"One of the greatest titles in the world is parent, and one of the biggest blessings in the world is to have parents to call mom and dad."
That is an awesome quote!
What a great post! I have a 6 year old girl and I often wonder the same thing. But you are immensely important to your daughter. Just you being there, carrying stuff etc means she feels safe. If she thinks you can protect her from falling boulders, you must be able to take on any one of the random monsters little girls worry about. Mothers are (usually) there more, due to the normal dynamic of Father going to work (Hunter Gatherer) and Mother staying at home (Nurturer). This remains true, even when the Mother does go back to work etc!
In short, both parents are important and never underestimate how important you are to your daughter, even if she does take you for granted sometimes!
LOL. My wife and I are a good team. Its cool. It has become my daughter and my inside joke.
Yeah aggree, @hanshotfirst
btw father is a superhero with an invisible cape :)
https://steemit.com/poetry/@anejosua/father-is-a-superhero-with-an-invisible-cape-happybdaydad
Very nice way to put it!
What an incredibly beautiful story. Really made me tear up a little. It's stories like these that make me feel like I can't wait to be a dad. Although I'm only 30 years old, it's a feeling that getting stronger pretty fast. The fact that my best friend just had his first child (a beautiful little girl), isn't exactly helping either.
But I'm digressing. Thank you for the lovely story. Followed you to not miss out on stories like these in the future :-)
Parenthood is awesome... if you are ready for it LOL.
I wish you look on your journey there.
I think father/daughter and father/son relationships change quickly, your relationship will change for the better believe me, nice read :)
Thanks! I know I'm a lucky guy.
you're welcome