Life without MOM (Colorless)

Hello everyone! As in my previous article ( introduction: https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@hajramehmud/story-of-my-life-and-a-brief-introduction-of-my-lifestyle ) i told you guys about my pretty happy life I'm living but in every story and in every person there is always a dark side. And i have too.
So It's almost two years my MOM passed away and left us in this cruel and fake world to live alone and to fight with the two faced and selfish people around us. The people who act like they are our well wisher but deep inside they are the most jealoused of us and don't want to see us grow and get stronger day by day. Even some too close relations show us their real side. That made us even stronger :) I wish I could bring mommy back and hug her and tell her "OH MOMMY YOU'RE THE BESTEST AND NO ONE CAN EVER LOVE ME THE WAY YOU DID"

It was the worst of times:
I still remember those days when my MOM was fighting with lungs cancer and everyone knows in my family about my mother's condition except me and my elder sister as we were having our exams at that time so no one wants to give us that oh so big shock but one day i heard my brother talking to someone that my mother is going through lungs tumor, at that time i have no idea that what basically tumor is. I talked to my sister about this we searched it on internet we just got a little idea that it's also cancer but still we didn't believe at it. Then one day I came back from school i saw my mommy sleeping after so many sleepless nights , i was so happy that after so long finally she is sleeping because of heavy coughing she can't sleep. And at the end of that day my mom got admitted in the hospital. We have no idea that mommy will never come back to home. It was 14 April 2016 first day of mommy in hospital that was so terrifying day i just can't put that into my words how we were feeling at that time, but still we all family members were so hopeful that she will recover. As the time was passing by her condition was getting worst. Then one night when my dad said me to go home to prepare myself for exam a bit so that i can pass the examination. I hugged and kissed my mom and just came outside as the doctor called me and i just went back and said yes? he said "you are with this patient?" i was like yeah and he said just tell your father to stay there as your patient is in critical condition. Their words hung in the air and i ran outside and saw my father crying with both my elder brothers and saying that Asma (name of my Mother) what will we do after you, how we'll survive, how I'll raise my daughters alone and as i saw those tears like a waterfall my heart was into so many pieces. I came back home it wasn't that home in which we were living a happy life it was some horrible place at that time. That night was the worst night of my life. Next day it was my last exam i was happy that now i'll take care of my mommy and spend some time with her but when i went to hospital everything was not the same my mom was not in senses she wasn't even recognising us. Then on 19th April the doctors said to shift my mom into another Hospital. It was the worst I've ever seen her. Then It was 20th April 2016 and my mom was fighting with some terrible things going inside her. And then the oxymeter was stuck we were so tensed someone called the doctor and all of a sudden "SHE IS NO MORE" my whole world stopped, everything was stuck.The rest of the memories all play in slow motion in my head but I still cannot put them in words. my cousin took me outside and then the only thing running in my mind was that, Now my life will change forever that it's over. Mommy left us too fast and too soon, with so much that had to be said, and so much that she still had to finish, so much that we had to ask from her and tell her and show her, and so much that she had to tell us.

Since the day my mommy left me i don't think so there is even a single day when i don't miss her, she is always in my mind always in my heart. Every relation is so fake in this world. Home is not home without mom. No one can ever take care of you the way your mom do. I wish i could bring her back, call her, sleep by her side. I wish....

Don't ever shout at your Mom, don't ever make her feel alone. She's the one who brought you in this world. Her love is pure. Even now I'm writing and and imagining all that time and what my family have gone through. I can't stop my tears. She was, is and forever will be my inspiration my only love :)

Me with my beautiful Mommy:

May Allah bless her and may that life be a source of eternal happiness and peace for her InshaAllah. And May we be blessed to be able to meet her again one day and hug her and tell her all that was left to say. Ameen.
Thanks for reading this and for stopping by!