Gringalicious Thoughtful Thursdays: On Comparison & Being Individual
“When you’re 20 you care what everyone thinks, when you’re 40 you stop caring what everyone thinks, when you’re 60 you realize no one was ever thinking about you in the first place. You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.”
-Winston Churchill
Happy Thursday my friends. I know this isn’t my typical kind of post but if there’s anything I realized about myself while taking some time away from posting regularly, for many reasons and most of them out of my control, it’s that I want to share more and connect more with you guys. If you’re here for recipes that’s great also. You can find lots of them in pretty much every other post. However if you happen to be interested in reading on, grab a cup of coffee and continue. (Trust me, you’ll need something strong to get through my rambling.)
Ever since I started this blog I’ve felt there was some essential part that was missing and including a little more on a personal note is something I’ve never been an expert at. Not that there’s anything wrong with celebrating food and leaving it at cookies and cupcakes everyday. Seriously, who doesn’t love food photos and chocolate #foodporn? But the thing is I’m a real person over here with real problems and you’re a real person behind whatever screen you’re reading this from.
In a world where we all carry around these tiny supercomputers that fit in our hands and, for a lot of us, it feels as if our lives depend on having them there 24/7, it’s really easy to scroll through highlights of everyone else’s lives and instantly have your self-worth plummet to zero. I mean, there’s never been a time in history that people have had the ability to share so much and connect with others all across the globe. While it’s amazing and so useful, I think it’s important to remind each other that it can be extremely superficial and one-dimensional.
Someone’s life can appear perfect from the edited and glossed over bits they choose to share, while their actual lives are a huge mess. I’m so guilty of this myself. The past few months have been some of the best ever for me but a year ago, two years ago? I could just as easily share posts and hide behind recipes when I was going through some really deep struggles as I can now when I happen to be in a bright season of my life. Oh, and please don’t take that as me saying I don’t struggle anymore, or get stressed out, or worry about ridiculous things, or faceplant on my bed for an hour trying to hide from the world when something feels unmanageable (been there, done that). I’m human too, guys. I get scared, I bleed, I forget things, oh and if we all got graded on social media skills I’d get a big fat F every time.
I just sometimes wonder what the world would be like if we all wore our vulnerabilities as badges rather than waste so many hours of pointless energy trying to hide them? How much stronger could we be if we spent more time building others up rather than tearing ourselves down? There is so much power in being able to say “So what?”
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I know it’s so cliché and your mom probably told you this a million times, but comparison really is the thief of joy. I can’t tell you how much time I’ve probably wasted throughout my life trying to change something about myself to be more like someone else when I could have been spending that time embracing who I am and doing the things that make me happiest. Don’t compare your chapter 2 to someone else’s chapter 10 because your life is so unique and don’t waste the incredible person that you are by focusing on who you think you’re not. Envy is a miserable road that goes nowhere.
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When I was little my mom would say “Hang your troubles on the line. You take yours and I’ll take mine.” While I never truly understood this until I got older, it really stuck. It’s taken me almost 22 years to finally reach a place in my life where I’m starting to care less about what others think about me and more about what I think about myself.
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Basically, I’m saying don’t waste time thinking that if you could be in someone else’s shoes you’d be happy because I can pretty much guarantee that their not. In fact, if you really think about it the people who spend the most time making their lives look perfect on the outside are the ones that have the least time to actually live it. I’d say some of the happiest people I know in real life are the ones that know how to laugh at themselves. There will always be someone who does it better, has more, knows more…… Be yo-self!
Okay, now someone kick out the soapbox from underneath me or something. Head high, shine bright, and fake it till you make it. You got this.
I love you guys!
XOXO
ALL CONTENT IS MINE AND ORIGINAL! All of these food photos were taken with my Nikon D5300 and my favorite Lens, the Nikon AF-S FX NIKKOR 50mm f/1.8G. You can find out more in my INTRO POST.
And, by the way, to all the minnows out there, my intro post did a huge $0.21. The key to success on Steemit is to be consistent and persistent.
Also, a huge shoutout to @rigaronib for designing my logo!
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cool photo :)
Fantastic post... marvelous... you are very beautiful person...
thanks so much @wilku
Ok I must know, who is your photographer?
it's a combo of my Dad and my sister, thanks for asking
Thanks for replying. You are very dedicated.
wise beyond your years!!
always, always so supportive @noboxes, thanks so much!!
Cool post. It is interesting how much a person is worried about what others think especially in Junior High an High School.
I think some comparisons can be good for people though. In athletics if you see someone else who is capable of something then your perspective changes and you want to achieve it as well. If the competition isn't always raising the bar then you don't get better.
:-) have a great day!
I agree with you in athletics. Every NBA player should aspire to be as good as Lebron.
However, I'm not so sure that it's healthy for me to be as good as Lebron, at basketball, it's never going to happen.
Don't get me wrong, I am not saying be less than we can be. I am simply saying be real about who you are and don't try to be like the person on the magazine that's been photoshoped, which they're not real either.
And, more importantly, thanks so much for your commenting and your current support. We've been together on here for many months, my relationship with you is more important than MY opinion. So, I hope the take away here is, thank you for all of your support!
Edit: I picked basketball because I know that's your game
Yeah I get you 100%. I was just talking to a friend yesterday about the situation with the girls one the covers of magazines. It isn't attractive to use because it doesn't even look like a real person at that point. It just looks like a plastic digital animation. I can imagine how if effects people trying to look at those types of pictures and feeling like they have to look like that. And then when it comes down to it a lot of guys don't actually think that is attractive. Hahhaha
Yeah we have been on here for a long time and it is kind of crazy with all the new people that get on here in these price surges. Sometimes I see someone else that seems to have a high reputation and seems to be blogging a lot and I sometimes wonder if they know about bloggers like us? There have been times on this platform where I almost felt like everyone kind of knew about everyone else who was on here. I know that almost seems impossible but it sort of did seem that way for awhile.
how relaxed you are @gringgalicious, i like your photos that you sit on the bed , good job !
I like the word you ever said :the key to success on Steemit is to be consistent and persistent.
Great post, Yes ...to try only care about what we think of ourselves....and less screen time!!
SO true @steemama! I had to chuckle to myself when I saw that picture/meme because I feel the same way! I look around at the young kids nowadays and just have to shake my head...I feel like telling them "go climb a tree! enjoy your REAL life and participate in it!" And thanks @gringalicious for inspiring all of us to remember these things :-)
Great meme, thanks @steemama!
Yes @steemama I once posted that on my FB page with the same sentiments! So glad.
And @gringalicious solid words. Self awareness and reflection do wonders to realize what the heck matters.
This post is just as great, or even better than your recipes. I enjoy those a lot too (although I usually end up not using them) but I loved reading about you and they way you think. For a 22 year old girl you sound really mature by the way!
I hope to read more like this from you :)
thanks so much for the fantastic commenting
Oh my god Gringalicious your only 22! I was not half as balanced and tuned in at your age! at 22 I was a disaster!! good on you :-)
such a great post @gringalicious , i really loved it , especially your sentence "comparison really is the thief of joy" !! it's true
I agree with you and all the time in my life i try to don't think about others and ... I just compare myself with myself , and try to reach my goals ,, my calm is my calm , we have the same sentence in farsi (persian) :
"Don't compare other's outside of life with your inside of life "
great post