Hi @bobreedo

while its not a magic wand, as someone who has been professionally supporting people with disabilities for over 20 years, I would just like to make a recommendation, if you are interested.
There are many ways to work with people with autism, and I have found that the majority of them have been (I hope this is changing) focussed on trying to bring the person out of their internal world, where they feel safe and comfortable, into ours, where they dont.
There is a place in Massachusettes, USA, called The Autism Treatment Centre of America, where a program called the Sonrise Program. This program was created in the 70's, and has at its core the idea that we will only ever connect with someone with autism if we are willing to join them in their world, without judgement, and in the process build a bridge for them to gradually find a safe way into ours.
I have seen amazing resluts with this program, and would highly recommend checking it our if you are interested.
The website is http://www.autismtreatmentcenter.org/
All the best with your journey.
Cheers @goldiemr