Nanny state in UK Fostering You are all assumed to be a paedophile until proven innocent

Im not going to name names , i will only say that im writing this in frustration at the fostering agencies and government rules in the UK.
I'll give you a brief background first, my partner is a respite foster carer, she has children maybe once a month for a couple of days, when she has them she observes all the safeguarding protocols (more of those later). I understand the need for these protocols, they are there to protect both the carer and the foster child. My partner has been trained up and qualified as a carer a number of years ago. I am not qualified nor am i interested in being so, i join in activities as much as the safeguarding allows, i welcome the kids into our home, i cook for them, buy them treats, but i would never put myself in a situation that would break the protocols.The children as you can imagine come from challenging backgrounds normally they have been taken away from their natural parents for their own protection, as decided by gov guidelines and the social workers involved. The children are then handed over to fostering agencies which may be a private company or a government body, who then find the children a foster parent/s.
When the agencies train up the carers they tell the carers to treat the kids like they would their own children but then the carer learns that the protocols do not allow a lot of the 'normal' parenting, you cant touch them without getting their permission first, you have to read them a bedtime story downstairs, you cant discipline them, instead you make notes of bad behaviour and report it. I can observe what this has done to the children i have encountered, they are mollycoddled, have no social skills, they have a massive amount of material resources lavished upon them and at 18 or 19 are turned out into the wider society totally unprepared vulnerable and socially very immature. The government policy basically creates a social misfit and then pulls the rug from under them.
I can understand the vetting procedure and the training that a carer has to undergo, afterall they are the ones responsible for the children in their care. But the agencies are so paranoid and so fearful of having the government withdraw their funding that they are now demanding that the partners of the carers undergo the same procedures and the same training as the carers. To me that says that the agencies dont trust the carers to apply the protocols . Most importantly from my perspective i am assumed to be a Paedophile until the agency has scrutinised every last detail of my life history, the process is very intrusive to say the least . I agreed to an in depth criminal record check, that was clear and IMO that should be it, i dont interact with the kids if my partners not there.
Finally i dont think the agencies have the childrens best interest as a priority, this is a very lucrative buisiness for them and i think the fear of a withdrawl of support from the government has taken precident over the childs welfare and the carers partners right to privacy.
Im very interested to know your opinions on this, the only outlet i have found to voice my opinion is here on steemit as this is an anonymous platform, so my partners anonymity remains intact. Anyway she is unaware that i have written this. But i do think the government does need exposing for its very intrusive policy and an honest debate needs to be had about how foster kids are treat.