I had to learn that offering a perpetual sounding board for a miserable person, including family members, just enabled a pattern of destructive behavior in both of us. The word "no" is so super powerful, and yes, I truly cherish the silence. I just remind myself that I am there if that person is ready to move forward, but I am no longer available to roll around in the pig pen of misery with them. Tis a hard thing though, I am sorry you have had to go through that.