Conditional Friendship

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook. Well, I guess to her I'm a "friend" now because we've not been in touch for a while.

My initial reaction was to feel bad - it's true. I'm pretty terrible at staying in touch with people but after a little while I was still thinking about the post and it just didn't sit right.

A friendship shouldn't be conditional - it shouldn't only exist if the other person fulfils your expectation of what a friend should be.

Or should it? Do I have expectations of my friends? And is that a good thing or a bad thing?

I guess I expect my friends to be honest and respectful and I think this is a good thing because it means we share values which are important to me... but I wouldn’t make friends with someone that didn’t match these values and then expect them to change to meet mine.

And I think that’s the issue I have with that image and the people that relate to it. You’re making friends with people who don’t share the values that seem to be most important to you...and then complaining about it.

In conclusion to my ramblings!
If you have expectations of your friends, then that’s completely fine and probably actually quite healthy to make sure they respect your boundaries etc. But don’t assign people to specific roles in your life if they don’t fit. Either accept that some people don’t fit - maybe they’ll fit a different role - or find people that do. Just don't complain that they don't fit in the role that you put them in...