What Women Actually Want & How Not to Become That Couple Everyone Hates

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY: ‘couples who work out, together... are way more annoying than those who don’t.’ I’m all for a January health-kick-cliché and I’m the first in line with a bag of kale and some box-fresh Nike, but I draw the line at his and hers workouts.

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Clean living with your man, to me, should be about shopping and sex, nothing more. Hitting the fruit and veg aisle in Sainsbury’s, or gr spending an evening doing an online shop together is a good idea. You can do meal plans, encourage each other it to make healthy choices and it means you might actually get through that mountain of spinach you buy every week because you can take it in turns to make a morning juice. Also, if you don’t go green together you’ll only end up getting out of food sync with each other. One of you will be starving and end up eating earlier, the other will have to sit alone and eat their pizza facing the wall in shame. Bad times. Eating clean as a couple, because it’s all done behind closed doors, is acceptable. It will produce better results and you won’t lose any mates in the process.

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There is nothing ‘couples goals’ about going for a run together. You won’t run at the same pace, you’ll hold each other back and inevitably one of you will get pissed off. If she’s in her PJs watching Friends getting her off the sofa to go for a run with you is a bad idea she won’t thank you for it. But I’ll bet you, if you go solo she’ll be ready and raring to go out when you get back. Getting competitive with each other about exercise is fine good, even.
But what you don’t want to become is one of those couples who post smug ‘morning run with my princess’ status updates; no one wants to see a video of your matching trainers running in sync or balancing on each other in some weird twister/yoga pose. We all know that to stick to an exercise regime you’ve got to MM pick something you actually like and that fits into your schedule. Do not let her force you to sign up for his and 7 hers yoga. Let her go to her regular Wednesday night I'l‘ g class, you go home and watch the football. If you like to r do weights in the gym don’t sacrifice it for an extra 20 minutes next to each other on the cross trainers. Bully, sorry, I mean motivate, each other in to going to the gym but the second you walk through the door, you’re on your own. No flirting by the water cooler allowed. No chatting on the treadmills. Headphones on, girlfriend who? It’s the one time you can get away with being selfish in a relationship.

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The pre-game is great if you’re in a couple, you encourage each other to get off your arse, you can shop for all the gear together and compare Fitbit stats, but the aftermath works too. Those endorphins you’ve released and pheromones you’ve produced make a post work-out session inevitable. And double bonus, you’ll burn even more calories. A sexual work out ticks all the boxes because a) you’re not likely to post a picture of you both looking smug doing it, and b) it’s actually meant to be done with a partner. Motivate each other off the couch, eat healthily together, do a booze break together and shag a lot. Just don’t become that annoying couple who work out together. It’s not you, it’s not her, it’s not hot and it’s not going to get you results.

Thanks for reading and have a good day / night!