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RE: Why haven't we found aliens yet?
I think its a combination of #3 and #5, look at what the endpoint of evolution is, not us but the self aware machines we create will be what inherits the Earth, one imagines that the same process would occur on other planets. And in terms of #5 they did recently release a bunch of classified military UFO sightings but it seems to me that alien life is all around us in the form of tardigrades and some biologists think that the initial bacterium that sparked life on earth came from mars or elsewhere in the solar system, in that case all life on earth is alien life.
Singularity doesn't seem possible until a very distant future I think. We might have a better luck in encountering alien life way before that. The possibility of us being the alien life that we seek is also very high. There's one episode in the cosmos that shows this beautifully. I just hope that any encounter brings peace and not chaos. Cheers!
when we do find alien life it will probably be a letdown anyways, some bacteria or something.