How to Talk to a Toxic Boss...Before you Lose it!
My most recent 9-5 position was toxic almost from the beginning. At first I thought it was me, but I soon started to see why my boss had a revolving door of employees (3 people in 16 months). After 6 months of deep breathes, I reached my limit. Before I said something I would regret I left work early and took the next day off—a mental health day, LOL. I needed time to reflect and calm down because I desperately wanted to go in Monday morning and tell her she’s the problem and where to shove it!
Not wanting to burn any bridges but wanting to speak my mind, I asked my HR guru friend how to handle the situation. Below is the speech I prepared and read to my crazy boss. I'm sharing because I found it to be valuable and solid advice. For me, this led to an open and constructive discussion. I should mention I knew my boss didn’t want to lose me but if it came down to it, being fired was a viable option for me as I knew this would be my last full-time position and could claim unemployment while I made my next move.
“I often find the chaos and tension in this office to be overwhelming and when I do, I prefer to retreat to my office, disengage and focus on my work. Due to the circumstances that occurred Thursday morning, I opted to shut down. I have been trying very hard to manage in this office as I truly enjoy my work but I am finding this environment not conducive to my work style.
Furthermore, I feel praise should be public and discipline in private. Your behavior on Thursday I found provoking and aggressive and frankly rude. I am simply struggling with behaviors and the resulting atmosphere in which my work is being performed. With that said because I truly enjoy my work, I have no plans on resigning.”
Outside of remaining calm and collected, the tips here are:
#1 - phrase things in such a way it’s about how it makes YOU feel—i.e. that scenario made ME FEEL this way, or when he/she does X, I feel Y. Never direct or blame your issues on others and don’t turn the opportunity into a bitch session—even if you don’t care, be professional and don't burn a bridge.
#2 – Even if you don’t, claim you enjoy your job and are open to finding a solution. If a solution cannot be found you can be released without incident and maybe with severance depending your time and history with the company.
Hope this helps and remember: Work with integrity and respect others!
Hi. I am a volunteer bot for @resteembot that upvoted you.
Your post was chosen at random, as part of the advertisment campaign for @resteembot.
@resteembot is meant to help minnows get noticed by re-steeming their posts
Even better: If your reputation is lower than 28 re-steeming only costs 0.001 SBD!
If you want to learn more - read the introduction post of @resteembot.
If you want help spread the word - read the advertisment reqruiting post.
welcome to steemit! Nice job for a first post but a photo would really help get more up votes. following hope to see more of your blog.
Yeah I like that approach you took. I also had a similar situation, granted it was back a few years ago in high school. I had a great job at a restaurant where I was the head line cook at nights. I had 3 managers and two of them were great. However, the other one was a micro-manager to the extreme and brought the general moral of the place down. On top of all of that, he was the owner's son. Luckily for me he quit before I exploded, but ill try to keep this approach in mind if something like this every happens again.
Cheers