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RE: SETTING ASIDE THE PHYSICAL PAIN (Going to bed at level 10 and waking at level 1)
sadly I sorta know this type of pain and thankfully I don't deal with it on a regular basis like some :( I feel sorry that anybody has to live in such a manner as that, I'm glad you found a way to deal as best you can even more glad you don't give up :) and folks wonder why I don't like guns :D I hope you never find yourself kissing the floor :D even if you spilled the last drop of coffee :P
Pain is something many folks know, but knowing there is a wonderful solution opens the hope back up. I have kissed the floor more than a few times till I learned to read the message my body was sending... Never ever spill the coffee!!!