Alopecia, No Thanks !

fliss (34)in #life • 7 years ago

Hello, steemians

This is going to be quite a personal post, about a year and a half ago I noticed a small bald spot on my head, I though nothing of it at first because I had so much hair,

I was currently working as a head waitress and barista at a small cafe and living with my boyfriend at the time and two other people who he invited to move in... I think this is were the trouble started, my boyfriend wasn't working and we were finding it hard to pay the rent, even with me working full time. He met this nice couple and asked them to move into the spare room, which was a great idea at the time because of money but I didn't realize how hard it would be to share my space with 3 people.

Work had become to much, with me dreading going in, not because of the work I had to do, but the people I had to work with and the conditions of the cafe, were making my job a living nightmare. So after a crappy day at work I would go home to fine my boyfriend had done nothing all day, the kitchen a mess, dog needs walking, dinner needs cooking and washing clothes. It wasn't even that that was getting to me but the fact I never got to be alone, never got my own space or time to be with my own thoughts. While this was going on there was a lot of problems at home, which were really adding to the stress, I wont get into that because I want to get back to the point.

I have always been a quite a chilled person and I try to not let things get to me and would rarely show any sigh anything was wrong, but I could feel the stress of a job I hated, a relationship I no longer wanted to keep, my whole family falling apart. Through all this my hair was coming out in clumps when I brushed it and when I showered and everywhere I went I would leave hair allover the place, this kept adding to the stress I would no longer work front of house at the cafe because of my hair, and kept a hat on as I hid making drinks in kitchen. I decided to cut my hair short to see if it would help slow the posses of my hair loss, also after a while I tried dying it blue to help cover the bald spots, it didn't help much.

In the end I had to make a change and a big one, I quit my job, left my boyfriend on good terms, moved out the flat and back in at home, it wasn't ideal moving in at home. My old bedroom was now my little sister and her room was now a work shop, so I had a pull out bed in the corner of my little sisters room, for 3 months before I got my own place. I eventually went to the doctors who sent me to a dermatologist, but by this point I looked like a mad scientist with tufts of blue hair sticking out all over the place.

THAT'S IT, I'VE HAD ENOUGH ITS COMING OFF !!!

Hey maybe this isn't so bad, a little cold though haha. Felt liberated when I finally shaved it all off, I felt great and got so many compliments on having no hair, some people even saying it suited me more than long hair. The dermatologist had prescribed me some steroid gel to put on the bald spots and offed me a choice of getting two wigs of my choice.

Well this is exciting I've never worn wigs before, so I eagerly excepted. A few weeks later I went to chose my wigs.

In fact I liked wigs so much I bought myself 4 more

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After using the steroid gel on my head and trying to create a less stressful life, my hair began to grow back, some parts the hair had grown back but there was no pigment to the hair so it looked from a distance as though I still had bald spots. But I kept using the gel and doing more things for myself that brought me happiness, and eventually it grew back.

So after everything, I learnt if your beautiful on the inside you'll be beautiful on the outside too. Hair is such a superficial thing and girls are put under so much pressure to have longer more feminine hair, so people this is me no hair, you see me who who I am, nothing to hide behind.

I wrote this post in the hope it helps anyone else suffering with alopecia, I know each case is different and effects people in different ways. But for me at the age of 20 to lose all my hair, it was hard to go though, but I feel stronger and a more open minded person from the whole ordeal. I wanted to show you, you can even have fun with it, wearing wigs and dressing up are now are part of my everyday life, always one to turn a few heads with my crazy clothes. If anything losing my hair has given me more confidence and I have learned to love my self for me, not how I look.

Thanks so much for taking the time to read, and well done for getting to the end. Feels great to put this post out there, almost like getting closure on that part of my life.