I am doing much better but sometimes the blues hits me.

please dont get this wrong but in a strange way I am almost happy it happens. I came out stronger then I ever could have. I tried to medicate myself with the bottle and this didnt work and some pills(described by a doctor) which didnt help either.

I had still enough fight in me left to not accept that life has to be like this and started to experiment with meditation, reading self-help books, learning about productivity. Just starting to grow again if you know what I mean.

I am still not where I want to be and from time to time I still need to lick my wounds but I am on my path and my legs feel stronger every day.