I Love Myself for the First Time

My life has been a giantic rollarcoaster ride! From realizing the love I had in my love, what not the love of my life no matter how much I wished it would be, to healing my emotional body to ensure I can heal what is needed inside for growth in my life.

My intentiion when I began with Steemit was to be on here everyday, over coffee, rambling whatever thoughts came to mind. Rants, serious stuff, funny stuff, any stuff! Alas, this has not happened.

Turmoil happened within me. The realization of seeing yourself mirrored back to you but in someone elses body/face, is quite shocking and overwhelming. I have learned so much about who I really am and why I have attracted the same kind of men in my life. Jealous, insecure, depressed etc. It's because of those things dwelling deep inside of myself.

Meditation to heal my emotional body has been amazing. I recommend it, but warn you it is quite emotional and you need to be completely honest with yourself. To see yourself and to hear yourself tell you what you really need, is like a dream.

I found my child self and hugged her. Told her everything she needed to know about herself. Her beauty, her talents, her ambition, her strength, her intelligence, her need for connection. All the things that were suffocated as she grew up with comments like, "you are just manipulating me", when seeking love from a particular parent. Or "if you lived with us, you could come on our family vacation too". These sorts of statements destroy a child and no matter how "strong" you seem as an adult, you are dissolving inside.

I'd like to share an experience in a recent guided meditation, and I wish to put into an image sometime.

This was an intense hour, it began in a small room filled with eager meditators. The lights were dimmed and the soft rythmic beat of the drum played. We were lead through the control of our breathe and softly sent into a meditative state.

At the beginning, I could not get comfortable in my external body. My upper back was radiating serious burning pain. As I delved deeper into my mind and told my self what I was looking for in the present moment, I saw an image of myself wrapped in a thick black and red string. My surroundings were very dark.

As I helped unravel myself, the pain in my back dissipated! It was incredible! I looked at myself as I helped me to stand and she said "I want to be seen" That was all. But the emotion that hit me was overwhelming. I could see myself grow lighter, filling the space with a warm yellow/white glow.

When I came out of this meditation I felt amazing. For so much of my life I have hidden myself away for fear of what people would think of me, who I am authentically.

This is only the beginning for my self healing, and a fantastic one. Now I am learning to be my authentic self, and it has given me a louder voice and taken away much fear of success. I went into that meditation asking for more clients.

The universe did answer and I asked myself for the very same thing, but only in a very different way. A way that has led to healing and authenticity, and those in themselves bring the right attention and people into your world.

When you ask for the law of attraction to work in your favour, don't be surprised if it takes you on a "round a 'bout" journey to get there. Embrace it, love it and feel every bit of it. What comes out on the other side, is worth it.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog! If you would like to continue to read my writings, please comment, upvote and share to keep them active :) <3 - Fit Mama