A short journey...

After getting my O Level Results, I wanted to get into Polytechnic even though I am qualified to go to Junior College. However, I did not know what course to take in Polytechnic. My mum suggested to take the new course which is Engineering with Business at Singapore Polytechnic. I agreed and just applied for that course without even finding more about it. 

That is the biggest regret i guess. 

I was excited for my new school, signed up alot of co-curricular activities (CCAs) and have about 4 CCAs; tennis, entrepreneur club, BB primers and welfare services club. I was very active in school and made a lot of new friends. I was so happy to be in that school but weeks passed and I realised that I started to struggle with the academics. Since I took combined science subjects (chemistry + physics), I was struggling to keep up with the pace of the lessons. I also found out that all of my classmates took Pure Physics Subject during their secondary school. 

The worse thing was when the teacher mentioned to the class that you failed the subject while the rest got Distinction, As and Bs. I was so stressed up and was feeling so helpless. I failed 2 of my mid semester tests and  barely passed for another test. Furthermore, I was using a notebook for my Autocad lessons and Multisim lessons. I was in a financial strain and could not afford to buy a new laptop. Everything just made me feel so stressed out and unmotivated. I did not know what to do. 

To add on, I was not bonded with my classmates. I felt very out of place in class or maybe I think too much? I don't know..but what I know is I get along very well with my CCA mates. It is very bad when I look forward to end of class , just to hang out with my CCA mates or to participate in activities/events with them. 

When i told my parents that I wanted to drop out of my course, my parents were very disappointed and were worried about my future. I feel such a loser and failure. :(

I decided to talk to the school counsellor and the counsellor gave me several options and one of them is to complete the exams before transferring to another course. However, I did not want to stay in the course any further or even to do the exams. To me, I felt that I would be wasting my time if I stay any longer and I would fail my exams, i guess. 

And so I decided to drop out of my course.