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RE: Have you ever felt invisible as if you don't belong anywhere?
OMG!!! That's really me! Especially when i pick up my kids from school..... im just the mom who doesnt have conversation with anyone (chit chat).... i just have different interest. Im not good in small talks like: nice weather huh? ... its just not me..... im just there to pick up my kids...... maybe they think im arrogant? Im not sure.....
well, I'm not a small talker myself. But I can see the usefulness of it, especially when I see it being employed by my wife. She is particularly adept at doing small talking that people open up to her naturally. I see small talking as a skill that I can never acquire. sob sob
I'm hopeless at small talk too but as with everything, practise makes.. Well if not perfect, somewhat less awkward, haha. My mother in law is simply amazing at it and like you, it was through watching a master at it that helped me appreciate its power (and desire it for myself mwahahaha).
It is a difference if you want to be good in small talks and want to make more new friends :-). I myself do not have that feeling of wanting to know people to be friends with. I also dont feel lonely when im alone :-). I can easily go to a restaurant all by myself and i love shopping alone. Maybe im weird. Its not that i dont care about other people. I always have a helping hand if people need my help. :-)
I don't think you are all too weird like that. I mean the spectrum of extroverted-ness to introverted-ness is huge. There's nothing wrong with you. It just means that you need more "me" time than the rest of the population.
I'm coming to the conclusion that nobody really likes small talk. People instead use it as a shield to hold other people at bay until they prove themselves trustworthy enough (or perhaps interested enough) to move on to medium talk, if not big talk. It might be worth the awkwardness of small talk if you have the chance to make a new friend. It's astonishing where genuine interest in another person can lead the conversation.
But of course, sometimes you just ain't got time for that, or you just don't gel with people, and that's totally cool too. :)
I know, people use it to start a "real" conversation. But i prefer to skip that part and directly go to the real conversation. But i am myself not a big talker and only talk when i have something valuable to say or when i have an important question. I also don't feel like making new friends in real life I guess, after finding out that in my past many people misused me. Friendship should be from the heart, helping eachother. Not only when you need someone. I helped friends in the past, but when i needed them, i couldnt knock on their door. Its sad, but its the truth.
People can indeed be disappointing. I understand your desire to protect yourself from further hurt. Thanks for your response to my barging in on your comment!