Dear Nataleejean I was happy to come across your post, I want you to know that we so called Christians also struggle with our belief in God now and then. This is natural response to a supernatural entity. People can only judge by their five senses and try to figure out Gods plan for them, instead of just living their lives from moment to moment and following his word within us. When you mess up tell people your sorry, and go on and try to do better, remember God loves you more than you can imagine, and wishes to live in you united with Him.