Confidence is everything- How I gained mine [part 4]
I remember very well when I got sick. Because I remember taking this picture.
It's 11 November 2014.
Dating Bianca made me nervous as hell. I never really dated before. I couldn't handle it very well.
When she was with me I was fine but when she was not all I could think about was her.
It gave me stress like you wouldn't believe.
It was nothing like playing World of Warcraft and talking with my friends.
I was becoming a nervous wreck and I could not snap out of it.
I lost the ability to enjoy anything.
I felt a constant pressure in my body. Day in day out for months.
(none of this was Bianca's fault, btw, it was me working myself up for no reason)
On top of that, I started to get sick.
I noticed that I had to go to the toilet more and more frequently. Small amounts like I was an old man.
I was already a mess. And now my 'equipment' was failing me too.
I never felt so miserable in my life.
Picture of me back then
I was diagnosed with acute prostatitis by a doctor and they gave me antibiotics. I would be better in a week.
It didn't help at all.
On the plus side, Bianca and I were getting closer.
On Christmas, she told me she had nowhere to go (her host family had gone away for Christmas and she was alone in their big house in Rotterdam).
I asked my family if Bianca could celebrate Christmas with us. They said yes.
I turned out to be a good decision by me because later Bianca told me that inviting her for Christmas showed her I was for real.
We went from dating to a relationship not long after.
I talked to her about the stress I was feeling and she said she had experience with this herself and that I needed to see someone.
I considered talking to someone to help you fix your mind an utter defeat so I refused at first.
4 weeks later I went anyway.
I went to see a lady at our local clinic. I liked her straight away. She was direct and to the point. (I was expecting it to be way more 'mystical' )
It only took 3 sessions to get rid of my problems. I can't believe it was that simple. I felt like an idiot for not going sooner.
The best way to describe what she did was to imagine that my mind was on a constant loop. And she pushed me out of it.
And low and behold over time. My frequent peeing problems started to disappear too.
I finally figured out what caused all of it. Stress. Just Stress. Caused by my own mind.
The whole experience made me appreciate mind doctors a lot more. And I will never fault anyone for seeing one.
It thought me a big lesson about the power of the mind and how it can control you. I also decided to never ever let anything like that happen again.
The whole experience changed me.
I became a lot more open about how I feel and I am way more clear about what I want and don't want.
Also, any sign of stress I fix straight away by figuring out what is causing it and doing something about it.
Being in control is great. But it does take work. It's not always as easy as it sounds.
Bianca and I had a fantastic year. But it was coming to an end. An au pair can only stay in the Netherlands for a year.
She used to cry when we talked about it.
We had to something and we did....
End of part 4.
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Incredible story and thank very much for sharing. Stress is no joke and I feel at the root of many problems people face today. We all encounter this enemy and learning how to deal with it on a personal basis is vital to over coming it. I really like how you explained it as "a constant loop" going on in your mind. That makes perfect sense to me. Until we break our habitual cycle we've created we cannot overcome it. I liken it to Einstein's theory of insanity about doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Being able to pinpoint the issue and then fixing it as you described is the key.
Can't begin to say how great this post is brother and also love hearing how your and Bianca's love story progressed in the early days to where you are now. This is a post everyone should read b/c stress and how to deal with it affects us all. It might be our #1 enemy in this corporate, money driven world we live in today. Resteemed
Thank you man. And it is indeed a loop. A constant feeling of anxiety or stress that has manifested in your body and you don't know how to shut it off anymore. Until someone shows you how. It was a good experience in the end.
Yeah. Stress is a silent and messy killer. Stress caused me to gain a lot of weight as I worked from 2003 to 2009. I've lost that weight as I changed what I do and got rid of that stress. I was sick and miserable and felt helpless. Stress made me quit a lot of jobs as I didn't see the point in sacrificing my overall health for a miserable pay. I wouldn't stress out even for a lot of money. It's just not worth it.
Now, I can't say I'm free of stress. I'm not. But Like you said @exyle I see what's causing it and how much there is and I try and take care of that. It's not always easy but I try and do my best and I am a lot happier.
Stress is the cause of many diseases like blood pressure, diabetes etc. My aunt had a paralysis attack 2 years ago and the reason was she took too much stress, never been able to walk since then!
Good to see that you came out of that situation and living a good and healthy life! Stay blessed!
Sorry to hear man. I can share a similar story. My father used to work a load of hours. Often day and night shift averaging 3 hours of sleep per night. 2 years back he developed a rare form of cancer but luckily he underwent surgery on time and he's been clean since. Stress is probably one of the worst things.
Good to know that he recovered and yes, stress is the root cause of all diseases, we should all try to live a relaxed and stress-free life.
God bless you and your father!
Man, I'm sorry to read that about your aunt. And thanks. Stress is awful. Getting rid of it is a great feeling.
Nice story, looking forward to reading the rest of it. Can you tell a bit more about how the doctor took you out of the loop? What did she say to make you realise it could be done?
First I was very open with her. No lies, only truth. Second, she started to reflect my own thoughts back at me with a series of why? question. She obviously knew the right questions to ask, these people are professionals. I realised that my stressful thoughts didn't make much sense. After 3 sessions I felt I had gotten back control over my thoughts and the at the same time the feeling of stress disappeared.
Great job by her and yourself then. I am glad that stuff is behind you now then ;)
I can totally relate to your situation. I went through a similar phase where i was frequenting the bathroom, at least 8 times at night, and double that during the day. I remember going to see a physician, and unlike others who simply want to diagnose you or prescribe you something, he was incredibly gentle and empathetic. The first thing he asked me after checking I was not diabetic, was if I was under any stress. He actually put his pen down, turned his chair towards me, and said, 'Talk to me. Don't worry, whatever you tell me in here is confidential.' So when I opened up to him, and he told me whatever I was experiencing was due to stress and nothing more. I already had a feeling, but sometimes it helps to hear from a professional who cares, especially as I don't like doctors!
Thank you for this. It's nice too know that I'm not the only one that had this :)
My pleasure. It's always nice to know that :)
Stress can affect your body, thoughts, feelings and your behavior. When I'm stressed it causes me anxiety. One thing that helps me a lot is exercise.
Exercise helps loads indeed.
wow both of you are made for one another and look so awesome and beautiful together...
I think that this is a great story of love which will always end well because it is true love. Confidence is everything indeed and am sure that you will not lose it again....Also see my last 2 posts on how to use startegic management tool to build your strengths and eliminate your weaknesses, am sure that it will be helpful too. Wish you more success
hahahah nice pic
Thank you, I like that picture a lot even though it's a bit older :)
You are welcome the picture looks so beautiful 😃 wish you both more success and love
I like learning more about how a person @exyle deals with an issue. The Best Part of this is the Loving Relationship that you and Bianca have now. You really make my day when you talk about the Reality that so many people would just keep to themselves. It helps so many others when you open up, because they may be going through the same issues looking for answers. STEEM on Brother.
Thank you for saying that man.
Well, I waited, I waited for the continuation and again at the most interesting place it all ended:)
:)
Confidence is one of the best, if not the best, thing to have if you're looking for a partner. I gained mine over the years as I matured mentally and started to realize what my life is worth.
God bless you friend, no doubt that stress can influence your body, musings, sentiments and your conduct. When I'm stressed it causes me tension. One thing that causes me a considerable measure is work out. I also love hearing how your and Bianca's love story progressed in the early days to where you are now. looking forward to reading the rest of it, well this series how to gain confidence is no doubt a great help for us in which you describe your life experiences it is very helpful too how you dealt with the challenges and overcome them. have a cheerful week ahead my friend, thanks for sharing
Stress sucks indeed man. It can have a huge impact indeed. You have great week too!